I was beaten and hospitalized for 1 day less than a month. After facial reconstruction etc etc, I signed for divorce from hosp. bed. Married to second REAL man for 30 years. My past abuse, some of which is resurfacing decades later in my memories, will always be w/me; I describe it as baggage I have had for a long time, but they have little coasters to roll better now. My problem? Family members, mostly my younger sister, tells me to “Get over it.” They DO NOT know of the recent suppressed memories, nor will they ever. I DONT WANT TO REMEMBER MORE as what I do remember is horrible enough. Please people, don’t think battered women OR men are weak, but more like a chipped toy. It will always have that chip and the toy will NEVER forget how it got it. Until you walk a mile in my shoes, don’t judge. I am ready to disown my own sister as when she gets drunk, her rants are so hurtful. Dysfunctional upbringing for us, gunplay on Christmas Eve by our parents and worse. Don’t ever tell a DV SURVIVOR to get over it. It is a terrible way to attempt to help anyone who’s been through this.
My face is forever altered from this last abuse. I see reminders every time I look in a mirror. Resurfacing memories are the subjects of abject horror and nightmares, and not even my loving husband will ever hear about them. But the real wounds are invisible: wounds to heart and soul. So NEVER tell someone to ‘get over it.’ It is an attempt in futility to even try.
BTW, to those who don’t know, women who have been beaten by men (with restraining orders, police reports etc.), and then murder them to get out of this seemingly no-win situation, get 5 to 10 times the length of sentencing in court, compared to men who abused/killed their wife. REAL STATS. No justice. Just us.