As a mother, one of my main priorities is to make sure I contribute the best way I can in raising my children to become good citizens, excellent professionals, and most of all amazing human beings. I guess that’s the mission of most parents and even when we all have our own parenting styles, the final mission may still be the same; to help raise children who will eventually contribute in making this world a better place.
Speaking about parenting styles, there is one in particular that I really like and that has become very popular among parents nowadays. That parenting style is called the “tough love parenting style.” The tough love parenting style, also known as the modified version of the “authoritarian parenting style,” is characterized by the combined use of warmth and discipline to help children develop important life skills such as dedication, perseverance, empathy, responsibility, self-discipline, and independence.
Some parents tend to think that the use of tough love with their children could be classified as a form of cruelly. I, on the other hand, tend to disagree with them. When parents use the tough love approach with their children, they are not trying to do anything that could put their well-being in danger. What they are trying to do is to raise awareness on the child. Showing hi/her that every action has a reaction and if he/she is willing to embrace the consequences of his/her acts as “mature” individuals and used them as learning experiences not to make the same mistakes again, the chances of him/her achieving success in life would be higher than using a different approach during the whole ordeal. According to an article published in imom, “the greatest challenge in tough love parenting is overcoming your own angst,” but the fact is that “angst” is a daily feeling that comes hand by hand with great parenting.
Is tough love parenting style as effective as some people claim it is? A recent British study revealed that children whose parents use a tough love parenting approach are best prepared to do well in life. This study proved that “kids that experience a mix of discipline and warmth are more likely to develop important character traits, such as self-regulation, empathy and application by the age of five than parents that use permissive, authoritarian or disengaged styles.” Interesting results, huh!
The truth is that not all parents are open to the idea of tough love parenting and that’s okay too. If you are one of those parents who are still a little skeptical about the whole “tough parenting” idea, continue reading. Below, I will share with you four (4) proven reasons that using tough love could be beneficial for your children.
Reason # 1: It promotes in children and/or young adults the ability to use problem solving and conflict resolution techniques to successfully solve their issues instead of depending on other people to do it for them.
Reason # 2: It helps individuals to feel responsible and in control of their own lives, and at the same time, pushes them to work hard to accomplish the things they want to accomplish in life. Understanding the fact that if they don’t do it, no one else will do it for them will prove to be a very important piece of information while trying to help them survive in this crazy thing called life.
Reason # 3: It will help children learn how to respect boundaries and to always “play” by the rules because if they don’t, there will be consequences. This skill will be very beneficial for them not only during their childhood but also during their adulthood. The bottom-line is that a person who plays by the rules, accomplishes things, the one who doesn’t play by the rules, eventually will have to face the consequences of his/her acts. Very simple stuff!
And, last but not least;
Reason # 4: It promotes leadership skills and excellent organizational skills by showing children that unless they work hard for what they want and stay organized, they may not be able to achieve their goals in life. Once they experience how taking charge of a situation and establishing and following procedures are the key for success, your job as a parent will become 100% easier than what it was before you started using the tough love approach.
There you have it, my friends. If you want to give your parenting approach a little twist, give the tough love parenting style a try and see what happens. You may be surprised with the results.