Express yourself without turning a normal conversation into a warfare. You may want to say that everything is your parents fault. Think about it, how much control do you have over others really none. You can only change yourself, is that not true. It is good to do your part and try to relieve some tension and maybe your parents will remain calm and hear what you have to say.
Here are some suggestions that you can apply.
First think before you speak. Try not to blurt out what’s on your mind when you feel that you are under attack. For instance if your mother ask why haven’t you done your dishes, you never do what you are suppose to. You may say why are you always nagging me? Try to use your thinking ability and perceive what is behind the feeling of your mom’s words. Usually when parents say always and never it is not literal.
Maybe your mom is frustrated because she is overwhelm with her share of housework. She may want to be reassured that she has support. Put your mom at ease by saying I see you are upset and I will do the dishes right now. If you respond with empathy your mom maybe soften and tell you what is really bothering her.
It is important how you speak to your parents no matter what the issue is. What comes down to it is your tone of voice. Speak respectfully and turn off your music, set aside your book or magazine and maintain eye contact with your parents. Putting aside pride and sincerely saying I’m sorry will go a long way, although it may not be easy.
Be willing to listen to your parents by giving them the chance to speak, give them your full attention. Do not interrupt so that you can justify your actions. When they finish talking than you can ask questions or explain how you feel. If you talk too much you will say the wrong thing. Proverbs 10:19 says: When words are many, transgression cannot be avoided, But whoever controls his lips acts discreetly.
All successful families have conflicts and know how to settle them peaceably. Practice the skills we just talked about and you may be able to discuss difficult topics with your parents without arguing.
Do this for yourself:
- 1. Write down the suggestions you need to work on in this article.
- 2. Write down when you are going to start applying the suggestions.
- 3. Write down what you would ask your parents about this subject.