The wonderful Christmas season! But, what about those invitations?
Do you believe you can lose weight and be free? What exactly do I mean by this? Well, you’ll get on this wonderful weight loss journey, and the next thing you’ll know, you’re making better decisions for yourself. So, you know all those times you felt forced by your parents into visiting your aunt or uncle, etc., during the holidays, and you were miserable? Well, you don’t need to go anymore, if it’s not what “you want.” Don’t you think it’s time you start making yourself happy?
I’m thinking about how many people don’t get along with their in-laws. Why do wives continue to drag their husbands to their parents house, if they can’t get along? The same goes for husband dragging their wives along. You may say it’s because of the grandkids? But, why should anyone have a miserable holiday? Aren’t holidays called, “happy holidays,” for a reason? I would never go anywhere I didn’t feel welcomed, nor take a spouse or date somewhere they’d feel uncomfortable. Sometimes, I actually wonder about the status of “the family tradition.” Family is very important to me, but not if I don’t feel appreciated or I’m able to be myself. I tend to stay away from family, because I don’t find it an enjoyable experience. Especially, around the holidays, I’d rather do the things that constitute happiness for myself. I don’t need to go visit anyone I don’t wish to, and I can decline an invitation.
For so many years, I was dragged to my aunt’s house by my parents, for every holiday. I didn’t have happy holidays. They were days for her to sit and tell stories, brag, and put people down behind their backs. I blame my parents (they were the adults), for letting that continue for as long as it did. My family is not like that. We don’t behave like them. We accepted it for years. To me, it was abusive, because I had to withstand something I don’t want in my life. I don’t want to sit around the dining room table hearing put downs of other family members and people I don’t even know. Is this what “family traditions” are about? Not to me. Eventually, making a long story short(not to get into it now), our family’s no longer speak, so my prayers have been answered (smiles). There is no more need for pretending. I don’t like them, and I can not respect people like them.
I think it’s 3 or either 4 years now, that we didn’t spend a holiday with them (hooray!). I’ve had some fantastic holidays since. I’ve had some great trips, done some awesome hiking, and cooked delicious healthy alternatives, to the usual meals. I’ve finally, been able to spend the holidays, doing what “I want.” Its been so great and wonderful, to really enjoy living life. I was doing things for so long to please others, and no one was ever pleasing me. I stopped all that. I know, I’m allowed to be happy, even if it means being selfish.
So, what about your own traditions? Do you need to keep subjecting your spouse to the in-laws? Why should they be so miserable on a holiday? Wouldn’t you rather be happy together? With new traditions? Maybe take a trip up to the mountains or the beach?
I’m going to be spending Christmas eve, with the only person I want to spend it with. I did get an invitation from a cousin, who wanted my parents and siblings to come over, but I declined. I did tell my parents the following:
I won’t be going, because all of these years I was miserable going to that witches house(yes, that’s what I call my aunt now). I’m finally free from that, and the last thing I want in my life, is to get roped into another holiday tradition where I’m unhappy! I want to do what I want to do, and with whom I want. I’m not going to be obligated anymore to the family.
And, I told my parents, I love my time with my friends. I love hiking, and since I can’t do it 365 days a year, I want it to be a part of my “happy holiday.” Doing things that bring me happiness, I consider that a “happy holiday.”
I want you to be aware of your decisions and your happiness. I think we all, at some point in our lives, give up “who we really are.” Each time we please someone else, when we really don’t want to(I’m not talking about selfless giving or charity or helping someone in need), and not ourselves, we’re giving a part of ourselves away. I know too many people complaining about parties and invitations, and they don’t want to go, but they’re forcing themselves to. I ask you, why? Where is it going to get you? Are you willing to sit with people, where you need to bite your tongue all night, really wanting to tell them off and bust on out of there. I’m not willing to do it anymore. Those were the kinds of situations, that contributed to my overweight. I under ate with the family, and binged when I got home. I’d even starve for days before the parties, so I’d lose some weight, hoping to not look as fat. These types of situations, made me so unhappy and out of control with food, and I don’t want that life anymore. Do you want to continue living, feeling so miserable? Or, wouldn’t you rather start to turn things around? Maybe it’s time, you start living your life for you, and start living in a new way. It’s not difficult at all to start your own “happy holiday traditions.”
– Weight Loss Series: You Can’t Stay on the Fence You Either Are or You’re Not – Day 10
– Weight Loss Series: Why Get Personal When it Comes to Weight Loss – Day 9
– Weight Loss Series: Why Are Steps One and Two so Important for Your Weight Loss – Day 8