I always thought something was wrong with me because I simply did not look like many of my peers. The hormonal blessing of a bosom and butt passed over my house several times before I simply accepted the fact that I am genetically a skinny minny.
Of course I got teased for appearing underdeveloped and for being mistaken as a boy one too many times. Of course I went home a time or two with tears and snot falling down my face…and onto my 12-year old flat, bird chest. Of course, even has a 30-something year old woman, I still have to shop in the kiddie section of JC Penny’s and it occasionally makes me feel some type of way.
But one thing that I can crack up about is the nonsensical comments I’ve heard in my life time when others decide to make it their business to concern themselves with my underwear size.
So, I decided to make a list of all the assumptions I’ve heard in life about my size and shall explain how so far off base they are in honor of all healthy petite women of the world.
Top 10 Skinny Girl Assumptions Debunked!
1. Do you even eat?
Yes, I do. My miniscule body, just like everyone else, needs nutrients to function too. If not, I’d be a rubbery mud puddle of skin and flab. Please stop with the dumb questions, Sir/Ma’am.
2. You are so trim! You work out everyday, huh?
Me? Workout? Cardio??? Who’s that?! He sounds handsome! Is he Italian?!
3. Do you suffer from anorexia?
I’ve never been the one to waste food. So, no. I am petitely healthy, not skeletal sickly!
4. With a size like that, you could get any man you want!
I am a single parent, living on a single income in a single-sized home and I own a single car. Appreciate the boost of romantic encouragement, though!
5. I bet you still shop in the little girl section, right?
Dude/Lady, seriously?! I’m in my thirties!!! (walks away in a huff puff…then secretly exists to the clearance section at Justice).
6. With that tiny figure you can wear whatever you want!
If I were to wear whatever I want, I’d have a rap sheet of indecent exposure as long as your list of stupid comments about my physique. I keep it business-casual, bruh.
7. Did you even have kids? You look like you used a surrogate mother!!
(Trying really hard not to physically assault this idiot who is completely oblivious to the near 3 months I spent on my back for pregnancy complications with one of my daughters).
8. You must eat very well to stay so thin!
Of course! Girl’s gotta stay fit right?! (Then, I gobble down two double stacks from Wendy’s with extreme guilt and shame).
9. All the women in your family must be skinny like you, right?
Absolutely. I barely fill my 32B bras and my maternal aunt is a 44DD. Yep. Uh huh. Look just alike. Folks think we’re joined at the hip…
10. You are so lightweight. You must real flexible in the bedroom right?!
I truly don’t see how that’s your business but for conversational sake, I enjoy an active romantic life like the next small or big girl. Being wrapped like a pretzel is not fun. Frankly, it sounds like something would get dislocated.