I never thought in a million years that I would hear the dreaded word… Divorce. When my husband came to me one night and told me that he was leaving me, I literally felt like my world was going to end. I was so scared to go through this. I had no idea how to even try to heal. I felt so many things at the same time, I literally felt like I was going to go out of my mind. Therefore, I set out to research tips on healing immediately. I now know that it is important to follow a few steps.
Recognize that it is okay to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel frustrated, sad, angry, frustrated, exhausted and confused. I went through all of these feelings. I could go from one feeling to the next in a split second, or sometimes I even felt more than one at a time. Just know that over time, these feelings will be less intense. I didn’t believe it at the time, but it does get better. I surrounded myself with positive people when I was at my lowest, and they would always talk me through it.
Give yourself a break. Take time for yourself, and don’t feel bad about it. For about 3 days after the split, I did what I wanted to. I slept a lot, I hung out with my friends, and went on a walk to clear my head. I feel as if this step is the most important because it is so important for you to regroup, so that you will have the strength to find yourself again.
The last step in healing is, don’t go through this alone. I am not the kind of person that likes to voice my feelings, I am very guarded, but I was able to make myself talk. If you are feeling extremely low, you could even seek outside help, like a doctor, therapist, or support group. Don’t hold feelings in, ever. Letting all those feelings stay bottled up will affect you more than you can imagine. I am fortunate to have a therapist that I talk to on a weekly basis, and a best friend that is truly amazing! I know that without being able to talk this through with them, my feelings would stay within myself, and cause horrible damage.
So, that’s the three step process that helped me heal after my divorce. It truly is the only way I was able to stay focused and sane.