There if far too much information on the net about movies for any one person to ever need. From spoiler-filled trailers and spy pics, to interviews and set visits. The one shining beacon of hope is that it also allows us to determine the quality of any given film well before it takes up precious space in our torrent folders. Here are what will easily be (some of) the worst films of 2014
- A Haunted House 2 – The sequel to the “hit” Scary Movie-type horror spoof, a genre that has all but gone straight to video now. Somehow this is getting a theatrical release. Just look up the original on Rotten Tomatoes.
- 300: Rise of an Empire – This sequel, which no one wanted, has none of the stars, writers, the director or even the source material that made the original a hit (and barely a hit @ that). All this exists to do is capital on the success of a 9 year old movie. This film will no doubt just be a lot of slo-mo action and out-dated cgi blood that every film and TV show from Spartacus to The Expendables has exploited since the original was released.
- Transformers: Age of Extinction – A new Transformers film is sure to release a tsunami of fan boy vitriol that drowns any mention of said films on any given movie news site, but there are a few things that I think will make this one particularly awful. The inclusion of Dinobots, this just seems like they finally ran out of ideas. The inclusion of Mark Wahlberg, there’s a big difference from Mark Wahlberg (Lone Survivor, The Departed) and Marky Mark (Fear, The Big Hit, Pain & Gain), this will most definitely be the latter. It’s also the 4th film in a franchise that seemed to have wrapped itself up pretty well IMHO @ the end of the 3rd one so God only knows what they scraped together for this one.
- The Purge: Anarchy – Yes, this film may be an easy target. A sequel thrown together and released less than a year after the original, minus it’s star Ethan Hawke. Let’s face it, who really like the original that much? I’ll admit the teaser for this one was alright but c’mon is there anyone really excited for this?
- Hercules: The Thracian Wars – With Brett Ratner, director of such modern classics as X Men; The Last Stand, Rush Hour 3 and After the Sunset at the helm and starring The Rock in a film that isn’t Fast and Furious of GI Joe is doomed to be a huge bomb. There is no trailer out for this film and I don’t care to see one. If there’s one thing Troy and the Clash/War of the Titans taught us, it’s that Hollywood just cannot do mythology. The only thing Herculean about this film will be the amount of money Paramount loses.