How much are Dolly Parton’s breasts worth? And what about Julia Robert’s smile or J.Lo’s butt? And how about Miley Cyrus’s often seen tongue? Well, the answer is who knows. But the better question is how much are they insured for?
From its soaring and gleaming post modernist building in the heart of the City of London, Lloyd’s of London is the center of the celebrity body part insurance world. Since 1688 Lloyds has been insuring just about anything and everything. Reportedly, when Heidi Klum decided to insure those famous go on forever legs of hers, Lloyds valued one at about half of the other one. Why? The less expensive leg has a tiny, tiny scar on it.
So, what parts are insured? Well, you name it. Singers’ voices, rockers hands, athletes and dancers legs and feet, female stars’ breasts. There’s even a “private part” in the league table. When the Pittsburgh Steeler’s Strong Safety Troy Polamalu signed to promote Head and Shoulders shampoo, his three foot mane of hair was insured for $1 million by the shampoo people.
Where did it all start? Ben Turpin, the comedian and darling of 1920’s movies, insured his unattractively crossed eyes that were his trademark. Probably the first celebrity body part to be insured, Ben’s policy stipulated that $100,000 would be paid if his eyes became uncrossed. Bizarre.
By the 1930’s and 1940’s, celebrity body part insurance was par for the course. Dancer Fred Astaire insured his tapping legs for $150,000 and Bette Davis (prone to a bit of yo-yo dieting) was insured against weight gain to the tune of nearly $500,000. And Jimmy Durante, the gravel voiced comedian, insured his large, bulbous nose and his hallmark profile for nearly $500,000. Well, he was called “The Schnoz”.
The sums (and the premiums) have skyrocketed over the years. Think top whack of $1 billion (yes, billion). Here are the most expensively outrageous celebrity body parts.
Ten Madonna’s Breast $2 million
You would have thought the Dolly Parton, the blonde country singer and songwriter of such hits as “Jolene” and “Love is Like a Butterfly, would have led in this category. No, Dolly’s insurance on her breast were originally taken out in the 1970’s in the amount of $600,000. It’s “The Material Girl” and her cone encrusted 1980’s breasts that win the prize. It’s hard to see any comparison between Dolly’s “double D’s” and Madonna’, uh, more modest offering. Even actress Holly Madison beat out Dolly, with insurance on her breast implants in the amount of $1 million.
Nine David Lee Roth’s penis $1 million +
Back when rock bad boys Van Halen was rocking the 1980’s, members of the band insured necessary appendages like hands and voices, but then there was “Little Elvis”, the band’s name for David Lee’s penis. Noted as a serial groupie womanizer, David claimed in a 2013 interview that in order to insure against paternity suits, he insured Little Elvis for over $1 million. No known claims, but the policy itself would have made fascinating reading. It would be the first ever claim because something worked the way it was supposed to.
Eight Gene Simmons Tongue $1 million
Kiss’s outrageous vocalist and front man stuck his tongue out more than Miley Cyrus. And that’s saying something. Amid rumors that he had surgery to make it longer, it was reported that he took out a $1 million policy lest the asset come to harm. One wonders what the famous tongue got up to that warranted such an expense. Simmons claims to have slept with almost 5,000 women and outraged a NPR host when he joked about being welcomed “with open legs”. It’s a wonder he didn’t follow in David Lee Roth’s pioneering footsteps. Guess like Dolly he went for branding. But imagine 5,000 Gene Simmons clones out there. Now, that’s scary.
Seven Keith Richards’ Hands $2 million
Well, old rockers never die. Although with the abuse the Rolling Stone’s guitarist, singer and songwriter Richards heaped on his body in his heyday, he seems to have tempted fated. The only known part of him that remained unscathed, his hands, were a big part of his fortune. And fans may remember the middle digit of his left hand being liberally displayed in a universal signed of disrespect. So perhaps the $2 million policy was intended to cover the offending digit. No reports of damage though. And the finger still seems to do its thing.
Six Tom Jones’ Chest Hair $7 million
Although the ageing crooner’s camp denied it, rumor had it that he insured his luxurious (and often displayed topped by gold chains) crop of chest hair for $7 million. Known for such gritty songs as “What’s New Pussycat” and for probably holding the world record for the number of pairs of women’s underwear that were thrown at him as he gyrated and pranced on stage, Jones (amazingly) recently celebrated his 55th wedding anniversary. One wit, commenting on a picture of the family, quipped that Jones finally looked as old as his 53 year old son.
Five Daniel Craig’s Whole Body $9.5 million
Daniel Craig shot to international fame playing 007, Bond, James Bond. When he was shooting Casino Royale in 2006, the movie company had his bod insured for $9.5 million. This is not surprising if you take into account that Craig is the highest paid Bond ever and that he insists on doing some of his own stunts. The publicity that swirled around the $9.5 million policy paid off with shirtless shots of the hunk and his sculpted six pack hitting just about every media outlet.
Four Jennifer Lopez’s Butt $27 million
Just beating out Kim Kardashian’s $21 million backside, J. Lo has insured her famous derriere for $27 million. You know she’s proud of it. Most of the pictures you see of her are taken while she displays the famous rear. She has more pictures of her self at that angle than just about anybody out there. With a net worth of some $300 J.Lo’s investment makes sense. But what’s up with Australian singer Kylie Minogue, whose butt was insured for $5 million.
Three Julia Robert’s Smile $30 million
The Pretty Woman has a broad, dazzling smile that is her trademark. It is not surprising that she insured it for $30 million. After she and Hugh Grant starred in Notting Hill, he let slip some unflattering comments about just how big her mouth and smile were. Julia apparently was not pleased. Obviously still gleaming, that famous smile was on ample display when Julia and Sally Fields recently competed in a spoof Celebrity Swear Off on “Jimmy Kimmel Live”. Julia was beaming when a string of three curse words won the day. A picture is worth $30 million.
Two Adam Lambert’s Voice $47 million
The runner-up on the eighth season of Idol has reportedly insured his pipes for $47 million. His English management company urged the move on him. Worth $10 million, it is hard to see it when “The King” Bruce Springstein’s voice was insured for $5.7 million and ageing crooner and heart throb Rod Stewart for $15.5 million. But Lambert’s voice is obviously still in good shape. He recently tweeted that he was working on music and getting ready for his summer 2014 tour with legendary rock band Queen.
One Mariah Carey’s Legs $1 billion
When Mariah signed with Gillette for their “Legs of a Goddess” campaign, they insured her legs for $1 billion. Must have been one heck of an expensive campaign. But perhaps Rihanna was insulted. She was signed for the same campaign, and her legs were insured for a paltry $1 million. Chump change compared to footballer David Beckham’s $70 million legs and Irish dancer Michael Flately’s $40 million policy on his dancing feet. Poor old Heidi Klum’s pins were valued at just over $2 million.
