Wandering down a big avenue, passing many big fields with no one near me, searching for a big destination called life. I’m not quite sure how I wandered so far, but I hope my destination is approaching soon. As I look around me I did not notice anything and I don’t know if I can hear anything, yet I feel in my heart that my destination is very far. After wandering for so long not knowing my location I’m frightened and I feel vulnerable as I look for direction yet I’m afraid to take the right step. So now I’m searching and seeking as if my eyes are closed because now my mind is lost and my eyes are useless when the mind is blind. As I continue to move forward searching, seeking for my destination, I begin to talk to the Lord sharing with Him. Lord, I feel You are near me, I know Your hands are stretched out to help me but You can’t help me if I’m blindly reaching and seeing nothing.
Now I am very afraid. I need and long to feel your arms around me and I am starting to understand that if I continue to fight you out of fear then my end result will be as it has been from the beginning. Wandering passing many big fields, there is no one near me. I am searching, reaching, seeking the right destination, too afraid of what’s before me, wondering if I have taken a good look at where I’m going, would I be pleased, can I take a U-turn and turn around to find my way, or hope to continue wandering forward to find my destination. Now I feel ashamed and disgraced as if I failed not only myself but you too. I am clutching my clothes in fear, huddling to hide my shame when I realize that You have been watching me the whole time, trying to open my eyes, waiting for me to grasp how much I need You.
My mind is telling me I’ve traveled too far, I am ashamed, and tired from long traveling as I feel I want to fall asleep. I am ready to finally find my way, I am ready to allow the Lord to guide me. I ask Him to please forgive me and guide me in the right direction. I realize from this long yet tiresome journey that He knows my every fault has seen all my mistakes, and still He is willing to love me and be here for me. Since the beginning of this journey you seek to help me knowing that I need you as well as knowing I would reject your help. Though I rejected you out of fear I feel it is time to finally seek help because I am blindly wandering in the wrong direction. I feel I am in darkness and have no way of finding my own way. Lord I do not like what I am seeing, now that my eyes are open so I can see, I need your help and deliverance. I realize now the eyes are useless when the mind is blind, I am no longer afraid of what’s before me, I desire to be help and allow you to set me free.