When it comes to villains, it is no surprise to see Cthulhu ranked as high as he is on the list. He is an ancient creature from beyond space and time that cares nothing for us and his awakening will signal the end for us all. This is a creature so alien that, to even look upon him would drive you mad. In a direct fight, we would lose and lose badly. Heck, even fictional characters find that they have trouble contending with such an entity. It’s generally accepted that you can’t defeat or kill such a creature. One can’t help but wonder though, what would it take? What sort of army would you need to assemble in order to take this thing down? My brain started to pull a Beyonder and imagined cherry picking characters from across the fictional multiverse who might stand a chance fighting against Cthulhu. With the setup out of the way, let’s get on to the list.
Green Lantern Squad While the Corps sports over 7,000 members, for the sake of simplicity, I’m going to limit this pick to just the four from Earth: Hal Jordan, Kyle Rayner, John Stewart, and Guy Gardner. If you want to throw Alan Scott in there for good measure, sure go ahead.
Then again, given the scale of the threat involved, maybe the entire Corps would be required. That would be a sight to see, wouldn’t it? Hmmm, I don’t know. What think you, readers? Would five ring wielders be enough or would an all out assault from the Corps be necessary in order to fend off this thing?
On the one hand, I feel like throwing 7,000+ Lanterns in one corner is cheating, but again, it might be necessary given the scale of the threat.
Z-Fighters Much like the Green Lanterns, this team of heroes sports a large roster. I’m tempted to just boil it down to Goku and Vegeta, as they were the only two of any use by the end of Dragonball Z, at the same time, this is Cthulhu and you’re going to need all the firepower you can muster. In which case, you might need other fighters like Trunks, Goten (who could help even the odds by fusing into Gotenks), and Gohan. Heck, even the other Z-fighters like Piccolo, Krillin etc might even be able to offer some assistance. Yes, even Yamcha.
Ghostbusters This team of paranormal exterminators is ideally suited to combat this threat. They’ve dealt with extra-dimensional entities before and have emerged victorious with nothing more than advanced technology. One episode of The Real Ghostbusters, even has the team battling the aforementioned Eldritch Abomination and emerging victorious. Granted, it was by the skin of their teeth, but a win’s a win and they would have plenty of back up in this confrontation.
To further improve their chances, we can go ahead and equip them with the more advanced proton packs that were used in the recent video game. Said packs came with a variety of firing modes that made it far more versatile than the basic pack.
Doctor Strange and Dr. Fate Back in college, I stumbled across a site called “Electric Ferret”. One of the features of the site was a series called “Comic Book Universe Battles”. They basically took two or more characters, generally from comic books, and pit them against each other. Fans would vote and based on the results, the site producers would come up with a possible scenario where the two parties would face off and describe how a possible confrontation would go.
One of the fights featured pit Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate against Cthulhu himself in a 2 on 1 confrontation for the fate of the universe. In fact, it’s probably that article that planted the seed of an idea for this article.
These are two of the most powerful mystics in superhero-dom and they do deal with forces like this on a regular basis, so adding them makes perfect sense. While the fans ultimately selected old Squid-face in that vote, these two would prove vital in a counter-attack against such an entity.
Justice League While Dr. Fate and the Green Lanterns are a nice addition, you can’t go wrong with having the Justice League in your corner. For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to go with the “big 7” seen in the animated series (well, 6 since GL is already in the roster). Much like the Ghostbusters, the Justice League has contended with a powerful Cthulhu like entity. In fact, in that universe, Hawkgirl’s mace was designed specifically designed to combat such creatures, giving them another ace in the hole that could tip the scales in their favor.
While I don’t know if Aquaman would be powerful enough to control Cthulu using his abilities, this is one instance where he would come in handy. You could also add Zatanna to the roster as she is a potent mystic herself and could prove a valuable asset.
The Doctor This centuries old time traveling alien manages to contend with cosmic forces using nothing but his wits and his sonic screwdriver. While he may not have the raw firepower of the others, he’s more than capable and you certainly want him fighting on your side when things get this dire as he can turn the tables rather quickly.
These giant robots sure came in handy when the Kaiju (giant monsters from another dimension) invaded Earth. Now, it should be noted that the monsters seen in “Pacific Rim” were much more vulnerable than Cthulu as they could be killed with enough firepower; still, having these in our corner would only help our chances.
While he’s not technically a ‘Jaeger’, I would suggest adding the “M.E.G.A.S” robot seen in “Megas XLR” to the roster. It has a nigh limitless array of weapons and Coop is able to come up with unorthodox strategies that could turn the tide in the fight against the great monstrosity.
Now, some of you may say that even this isn’t enough; that concocting such a list misses the point entirely in that you can’t beat Cthulhu. Maybe, but this is just for fun and it is interesting to see how much it would take. What do you guys think? Is more required or did I stack the odds too much in humanity’s favor here? If you do think more is required, who would you add to the roster? Feel free to list your suggestions below.