In my experience of dating, I have learned that there are a lot of men who just cannot handle being with a successful woman.
I met a guy, a few years ago, while on my way to a friend’s house. We exchanged numbers, and a couple of days later, we had a phone conversation. He told me that he was a construction worker. His highest form of education was high school, and that he shared an apartment with a roommate.
At the time, I worked as a Sales Executive at a publishing company, which I had conveyed to him. Also, I told him that I had earned an associate degree in Business, was currently working on a bachelor’s degree in Communication, and that I live alone.
The guy was so quiet on the other end of the phone line, way too long, that I had to ask, “Are you still there?”
When he finally spoke, he said, “Wow, you have a lot going on for yourself.”
After our conversation ended, I never heard from him again!
On another occasion, I met a man at Jacob Javitz Center during the Auto Expo, one year.
We ended up dating for a few months.
He was a college graduate with a bachelor’s degree in Computer Science. He worked as a software engineer, made a six-figure salary, and had his own place.
After two months or so, I realized that the guy I was dating, didn’t like the fact that I was financially independent and smart as well.
One time, while we were out on a dinner date, I offered to pay. He had already paid for at least six of our previous dates. So I just wanted to return the gesture. But he was perplexed by this, he said that none of the women he had dated in the past had ever offered to pay for dinner before. Why did I feel the need to pay? I told him that I just wanted to contribute to our budding relationship is all. He then replied that when women start making money of their own, they think that they are supposed to ‘wear the pants’ too. When he noticed the angry look on my face from his comment, he said he was just kidding. Needless to say, he ended up paying for our dinner, as if; I had never offered to do so.
Not only did the man I was dating, at the time, not appreciate a woman paying for things, because he felt it took away from a man being a man, he didn’t like a woman who could compete with his intellect, either. He had told me that he was very good at the game, Jeopardy. I told him that I do a pretty good job at answering the questions as well. So on one occasion, we decided to challenge each other while watching the show. I ended up winning. He didn’t take the loss very well. He said that I was a show-off. And if I really was a ‘good girlfriend,’ I would have just let him win.
Our ‘relationship’ didn’t last too much longer, after that.
I feel that if more men viewed the educated and independent woman as someone to celebrate, instead of being intimidated by this type of amazing woman because of their own shortcomings, then there would be longer, happier, and healthier relationships, leading to marriage.