Some celebrities age well, keeping the grace for which they are known, like Helen Mirren or Meryl Streep. Some even improve with age; George Clooney comes to mind. But then there are celebrities who zoom past their “sell by date.” Here are a few.
Oh how I loved Johnny Depp. I thought he was the most gorgeous man to be delivered whole unto the earth. And over time, he scruffed himself up a little. And then a little more. And then he had that pirate phase. And then it looked like he enjoyed not bathing from the pirate phase and kept it up. And recently, he showed up to the MTV Movie Awards wearing a hat that looked like it took a machete during a zombie fight. And he was the zombie. Alas.
This one’s sad. Twenty-seven-year-old Lindsay Lohan looks like she’s 40, and a rough 40 at that. The fresh-faced, be-freckled kid grew up to be a notorious partier, one whom Oprah has even tried to rescue from herself. And forged a bond so strong, Lohan was able to through to her directly on the phone with David Letterman. Lohan’s been living hard, and it shows, but the good news is Oprah thinks she’s back on track.
For a while, Brad Pitt looked like he was on Johnny Depp’s bathing schedule, or maybe they were sharing a bathtub. Yes, he’s got six kids with Angelina Jolie — incentive enough for a guy to stay on his game – and yes he’s got an Oscar-winning production company (“12 Years a Slave”), but now they make shampoo and conditioner in one for the person on the go. The good news is he seemed to get the memo, returning to his clean-shaven glory. Let it be known, I’m not opposed to guys with long hair; I’m opposed to guys with long hair who look like they’re about to ask for spare change.
Sometimes people age badly on the inside. Gwyneth Paltrow is one of those people, becoming more self-absorbed than the laws of physics should allow. She recently told working mothers everywhere that life is “much harder” for her, and that being a working actress makes her life more difficult than the lives of the 9-5 plebes. Neglecting the fact, of course, that it’s those 9-to-5 plebes who are unlikely to buy tickets to her movies or visit her Goop. Oops.