So you’re dating a geek. I understand. I married one.
Let’s get this straight, my husband and I grew up in different mental states. For me, games involved a ball of some sort. You were either bouncing it, hitting it, or throwing it. The only thing my husband was throwing was dice. When I first started dating him, the hints of geekiness were all but subtle. Soon, however, he admitted to more dark activities. Role playing games.
I didn’t know what a role playing game was, but he told me the most well-known one was Dungeons and Dragons. I remember some controversy about the game back when I was a kid, but I also remember controversy about Smurfs, Disney and red M&Ms. I launched my own investigation to see what this bizarre game was and the results were uneventful at best. It’s a really complicated board game. That’s it.
I began to understand his world more and he began to understand mine. Here are some things I’ve learned so far:
Keep things in perspective
You may think it’s ridiculous that the love of your life lives in a fantasy world whenever he or she hangs out with buddies, but let’s face it, most people escape reality through many different forms. For instance, fantasy football is really just a socially acceptable form of a role playing game.
Try it, you might like it
I did participate with one of his gaming groups for a while. It was quite a bit different than I expected. In the end it wasn’t the geekiness of the group that drove me away as much as the twenty minute long turns and the rule book the size of a chemistry textbook.
There are bonuses to dating a geek
They’re creative and will make you laugh. They’re also really easy to get gifts for .
It’s probably best to establish some boundaries
Geeks tend to be very passionate about their hobbies. If you are getting serious in your relationship it’s good to clearly communicate your expectations about time, space and money. Your significant other may expect to play video games for 4 hours a night, have a budget for miniatures (toys), and may want to fill your living room shelves with action figures (more toys). They will most likely assume you will enjoy everything as much as they do, so you’ll need to discuss what will be reasonable for both of you.
Find common ground
As I mentioned above, fantasy football is really just a form of role playing. This is something we found out we can do together. It involves the strategy of a tabletop game and a ball. We also both love paint balling and of course thoroughly enjoy watching The Big Bang Theory together.
Learn the basics
Communication is important in any relationship, so it’s important to learn the language. Before you stop reading, I’m not referring to Klingon. Learn the difference between Start Trek and Star Wars. Google the term TARDIS . Watch a few episodes of Firefly so you know the characters being referenced.
Don’t always give in
Since you’re not so geeky, they’re dating you for other qualities. Geeks tend to congregate at the same places and events and tend to stick close together. Drag them out in the sun every once in a while. Get them to a sports bar or a funky coffee shop. They may fight it, but they’ll probably enjoy it in the end.
Find out why they like conventions
OK, you got me on this one. You may just want to plan on a weekend to yourself when there’s a sci-fi convention in town..