The concept of bachelorhood is one that gets plenty of mixed opinion in a world that still expects the 1950s model of getting married and having a family. It’s one of the few conservative ideals that still survive from the 1950s in the 21st century, and it still instigates berating comments from some individuals if someone stays a bachelor a little too long. Even in the Hollywood community, being a bachelor isn’t something that’s very common. With George Clooney being one of the last holdouts until finally deciding to marry recently, there may be few if any bachelors left in Hollywood.
Can being a bachelor still survive outside of the Tinseltown bubble? If it gets frowned upon by some even there, it could be even more challenging in the real world. Then again, with many women choosing to be single moms nowadays, would male bachelors get the same acceptability?
To give a personal angle to this, I’m a straight male who’s chosen to remain a bachelor for a number of years past the usual acceptable time of marriage. And most of my family has accepted this, even if some friends give me some ribbing for it. But I usually give some good reasons that any other bachelor might want to say when being confronted about the issue. This helps deflect any notion it’s only about selfishness, which isn’t true in all bachelor cases.
Devotion to One’s Career
One of the elements of forced bachelorhood is the result of having a career that consumes all your time. By being a bachelor, you’re allowed to devote more time to focusing on your career and advancing yourself to a point where you’re more secure to focus on things other than work. It all depends on what your goals are and what kind of career you have. A career that takes up long hours won’t do you any favors when you’re in the middle of keeping up a relationship.
If you truly have a career like this, you can explain to your family and friends that you simply don’t have the time for any serious dating. They may finally understand that you want to devote quality time to dating when the time comes while devoting immediate quality time to doing the best job you can in your career.
Letting Them Make Independent Decisions
When you’re married, you have to make decisions that could take a lot of time and even lead to complicated arguments. Especially with a busy career going at concurrently, making compromises about the people you hang around and when you’ll meet up for dinner (plus all else fun) can be a challenge. You may choose to put this all off until you’ve reached a point in your life when you can easier compromise with a significant other rather than being forced into being your own boss.
Also, you have a chance to binge watch TV shows, eat what you want, and meet who you want without having to get into arguments or explain yourself. However, all of those things can point to you being selfish, even if they’re also forced lifestyle choices due to lack of time.
Yes, you can also mention the even more challenging problem of compromising on not watching a season ahead when binge-watching Netflix shows together.
The Issue of Finances
While every family member going after a bachelor will instantly remind that getting married is better for your financial picture (think joint tax filings), it isn’t always that way. If you’re both struggling to still make it in risky career endeavors, financial issues can put a strain on a marriage fairly quickly. It could be that in your singlehood, you’ve decided to take a career path you’ve always wanted to do, yet doesn’t pay at a corporate level.
When being single, the pay you have coming in may work just fine for you. Once someone else is living with you, the expenses go up exponentially, and it can get worse if your significant other isn’t getting paid well either.
You have a good argument here for your bachelorhood when family or friends berate you. Then again, make it clear to them that you have career goals and want to reach a certain financial plateau by a certain age. You shouldn’t lie about this and do it in real life if you still foresee yourself being married eventually.