If you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend or family member’s wedding, consider it an honor. From my perspective, it’s also a commitment. There are certain “Do’s and Don’ts” that take center stage.
Do: Understand that being a bridesmaid is a commitment.
Don’t: Say yes when you can’t be counted on.
Being in a wedding is a huge commitment. There are showers, dress fittings, parties and events associated with the big day that require your attendance. I was in a wedding that required me to be at three different engagement parties. In addition to that, there were also two showers and two bachelorette parties. We did a couple’s golf outing, a formal shower and a family shower. I felt like a celebrity and thought I needed a personal assistant to keep up. I knew I had obligated myself by accepting the invite to be a bridesmaid so instead of whining about it, I had fun.
Do: Prepare to spend some cash.
Don’t: Expect the bride to foot the bill.
First, it’s the dress, (even if you HATE it!) then it’s the shower, the bachelorette party and before you know it, it’s wedding gift time. In addition to shelling out the cash for a wedding gift, expect to pay your part in putting together the bridal shower and attending the bachelorette party. My sister had a bridal shower and get-together in Lake Tahoe for friends and the wedding party. Fun comes with a price tag at times. We all pitched in to cover her expenses while also taking care of our own. If the bride offers to foot the bill, by all means, allow her. If she doesn’t offer, chances are you’re going Dutch. Bring the plastic.
Do: Have fun and relax with a couple alcoholic beverages.
Don’t: Drink so much you need a cane to make it down the aisle
Anyone will tell you that the best part of a wedding is the party after the vows. At my sister’s wedding, rule number one was “don’t get wasted” (boo!). Drinks in moderation were acceptable (and encouraged) but consuming too much and moonwalking down the aisle was strictly prohibited (she’s always been the more responsible kid). That was kind of a bummer but, since it was her day, I agreed and signed the invisible contract to behave. Stealing the spotlight away from the bride is more than a “don’t” it’s a finger-wagging-NO-NO.
Do: Be nice
Don’t: Be rude
I know the dress is ugly and the color brown makes you look washed out but it’s not your day so, zip it. I often rely on the opinion of my friend’s. In truth, it matters. Ultimately though, I always make the final call (even though I’m no fashion diva). Expect the same from the bride. Offering honest input about colors, venues and dresses will be respected, in most cases. Being rude and crying about the “ugly dress” will only cause tension. So, like all good bridesmaids before you: Wear the dress, act like you’re Jennifer Aniston and then donate it to a local charity that helps high school girls find prom dresses.