These days, relationships can either be a good experience or a bad experience depending on the kind of relationship you were/are in. Sometimes relationships can be something many people try to conquer instead of enjoy and perhaps that’s part of the reason why many try to escape the headache of making a commitment. Relationships are basically something to enter into when the time is right for you and if you’re entering it for the wrong reasons, it’s no wonder why you even have a “relationship headache” to begin with.
You have so many self-proclaimed gurus giving you advice on what to do about dating and entering relationships and we as a society being to adapt these perceptions as our truth on what makes a man tick, or how to get inside a man or woman’s mind etc. It’s gotten to the point where it can be pretty confusing and for some, begin to feel like you’ll never find “the right one.” Many of us hate to be single. We wish there was always somebody there to talk to us, to hold our hand, to cuddle with us at night, to start a family with. And then you have those that feel as if they are better off being single, mainly because of a bad experience with a previous relationship or relationships. One thing I truly believe to be important is to not let a past experience dictate your future and what possibilities you have out there with a brand new relationship. If you are one of those unlucky people to have a bad experience or two, it’s also important to remember that you have to take time between relationships. Don’t jump from one to another and expect it to be different like night and day.
Whether you are man/woman hungry, a free spirit, or neutral, finding a relationship that’s right for you can be difficult, understandably. There are so many kinds, good and bad: abusive, open, complicated etc. so depending on what you want, take the time to make sure you’re not entering one or staying in one for the wrong reasons; out of fear, afraid of being alone….go through the pros and cons on being in a relationship so it’ll be easier to evaluate where you are in your life. This, in turn, will help you make the right decisions when it comes to the opposite sex. This may be easier for some. But time and patience is the recipe to make any relationship work, while at the same time, helping you grow as a person. Which leads me to my first pro of being single…
Growth and Self Discovery: You have time to grow as a person and discover yourself, and the things that you are capable of in life. If you don’t know exactly who you are, how can you contribute to a good relationship and help make it work? One of the things in life that’s important for anyone is self discovery, no matter when in life you obtain that goal. You also have time to begin loving yourself if you’re one of those who has trouble with confidence and self esteem. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love someone else and more importantly, how can anyone else love you?
Time for Healing: If you were unfortunate enough to have the experience in being in a bad or abusive relationship, once you’re finally free of that, time by yourself, and allowing yourself to heal can make you strong enough to move forward and possibly get involved in another relationship. When you take the time to heal, it can also give you the time to know exactly what you don’t want when you meet someone new. While you’re taking this time, the world is open to you to do and discover things that were deprived from you the whole time you were locked in a bad relationship. Don’t rush. Be patient at this point, and things will begin falling together in your life.
Less Stress/Drama: This is one type of relationship we always see with young immature people, or even on crazy reality shows. You have those in the relationship that make things complicated by gossip, nagging, unfaithfulness, smart aleck attitudes, and more. You see this “trend” all the time, and not only does it get tiring to experience, it gets tiring to watch, especially if the relationship was rushed into. So letting go of all of that can be a breath of fresh air for awhile. No one wants to be in that kind of joining.
Career/Projects: Sometimes when you’re not involved with someone you can better focus on your career and/or projects, and even focus better in school. Relationships, whether good or bad, can be a distraction of sorts and that’s the last thing you need when you have something else important going on in your life. However, if you can manage to balance that while in a relationship, good for you.
Dating: Naturally, while being single, you’re free to go out on dates, meet new people, and expand your social circle. I’m not saying you can’t socialize in a relationship, but while you’re single you get to meet all kinds of new people which will help you better at figuring out what kind of person is right for you.
Loneliness: Obviously, when you’re not in a relationship, there will be times where loneliness sets upon you. And though many of us try to escape the drama of a significant other, no one wants to feel lonely. Another reason why going out and meeting new people is important.
Want to Start a Family: There comes a time in everyone’s life where we all want a family, and when you’re single and ready for something like that it can be a bit discouraging. I like to think that this situation will happen when the time is right. Not everyone is lucky enough to start their families, though, unfortunately. That’s one sad reality some people face and it is in this case I can only hope everyone still finds their purpose in life.
Whatever the case may be, when you think about being in a relationship, or taking a break from one, don’t let someone else’s perception, or society’s idea of what relationships are these days, drive your decisions. Discover yourself and what you want out of life. That alone will steer you in the right direction. If you have to, list your own pros and cons. That’s an even better way of helping you figure out what you want.