That’s the normal course the word prenup takes when stated outright in a relationship where one person is caught off guard. Unfortunately, it conveys a sense of doom and mistrust. But, is it all that bad? No. Of course, many aspects need to be covered completely for it to hold its own in a court of law.
He asked you to sign a prenup. Relax and reflect. He owns a hospital that he built from scratch and it has been functioning for over two decades as one of the most efficient in the state. You didn’t know him when he started. You didn’t know him a decade later and you still didn’t know him for another decade. It’s not yours. You shouldn’t keep any of it in case of a divorce. Period. It’s not that he doesn’t adore you.
I would definitely sign the prenup if, and only if, the following conditions were addressed. We must have talked about the issue once we were on the path to a long-term relationship. I wouldn’t sign if the date was very close to the wedding. Despite this, it might work to your advantage because most prenups signed close to the wedding have been thrown out it in court. It all depends on your take of the situation and what you want out of it. Next, he would have had to explicitly list all of his assets including the ones he was not willing to “share” in case it doesn’t work out between us. I would have to agree. I would include a clause which states that all future endeavors would have to be equally shared. It wouldn’t matter who began the business, school, etc. Finally, it must include a clause which allows for revision after a certain amount of years (10 years maybe). He’ll be so head over heels, the prenup would most likely change.
One of the most important reasons to get into this legal matter is if you have children from another marriage. Don’t let the State decide what happens to your children’s inheritance. Spill your guts out on paper and protect everyone, including yourself.
I would definitely not be happy with a document which reprimands me for gaining weight, changing my hair color, or any other absurd choice I may take with my physical person. It should not obligate me to either work or stay home. Those issues should be dealt with as they come. We are not prisoners.
Other controversial points about this type of sit down is, of course, how unromantic it is and how it will spoil the butterflies in your stomach. It will have the two parties actually “thinking” about divorce even before they walk down the aisle. A great site which sheds more light on the issue is http://www.ivkdlaw.com/the-firm/our-articles/prenuptial-agreements-and-lawyering/. They have meritable articles from the attorney’s point of view.
The most important underlying issue is that in case of a divorce, you don’t want the State to decide what is best for you. If you must go through the steps of a prenup then do so wisely and, above all, come out satisfied. Remember, the written word is very powerful. Put your feelings aside and get to work on your future!