As I sat at work one day, a thought popped into my head about straight men and the double standards that exist between gay and straight people. It seems like straight men have double standards about a lot of things. Well, all men do, really.
It doesn’t matter if you are gay or straight. If you’re a man, then you play by a different set of rules than the ladies. You get paid more even though most of the time you work just as hard, if not less than a woman does. You’re taken more seriously. And, most of the time you’re the one making all the rules in the first place. I mean, everything in this world is “man-centric!” Think about it. MAN-kind. All MEN are created equal. Even the word MENSTRUAL has MEN in it, for God’s sake! This is a man’s world and women are just supposed to open their legs and pop out babies, while making the occasional sandwich.
Generally speaking, straight men are guiltier of this than gay men. Most of the time, gay men defend women and their rights and vice versa. However, gay men have their own battles to fight with straight men. Straight men seem to only see one side to the straight/gay relationship. Now, before I go any further I want to mention that there are many straight males that do not apply to this ideology. I applaud you for being decent human beings. The Cavemen though, seem to think that just because a man is gay, that any attention they pay towards said Caveman is a form of flirting or forwardness. This is false. These Cavemen either can’t or won’t see the scenario from the gay man’s perspective. The point of view that says, “I have standards, thank you very much!” and “I’m so far out of your league, you’re going to need a passport.” It doesn’t cross the straight man’s mind that the gay man might not even be interested in him at all! “No, there’s no possible way that a gay guy could have a type, or standards, or be anything other than a slut who just wants sex. Of course “that gay” wants what’s in my pants! He’s gay! Why wouldn’t he?” That’s the thing about men like that, they can’t see past their own egos.
One of the other issues with straight and gay men is the double standard that gay men are repulsive but attractive lesbians are hot. I’m not going to even waste my time explaining why this is complete BS; Besides the blatant hypocrisy…Oh, wait. Yeah that pretty much covers it.
Finally, there is another double standard that is rampant in society today. Personally, I find this argument to be one of the most frustrating. There is a specific conversation heterosexual males often bring up to homosexuals. The age old question, “How do you know you are gay if you’ve never been with a woman?” The reason that I find this so frustrating is because 99% of the time, if the question is reversed and the gay man asks: “Well, how do you know you are straight, if you’ve never been with a man?” The straight guy will get flustered, confused, and try to validate their own sexuality and reasoning for being straight while having an extraordinarily vague and weak rebuttal. As if there was something so wrong with the idea of being with another man. As if it was insulting for someone to even think that they would be curious about being gay. As if the gay man was disrespecting the straight man’s sexuality even though the straight man just asked the same exact question!
What makes it okay to question the validity of a gay male’s sexuality but not okay to question a straight man’s? I’ll tell you why. It all boils down to one ideology that’s been pressed in the back of our minds for centuries, but people are too afraid to say out loud. What the straight man’s innate answer is, the one he doesn’t say out loud: “Because heterosexuality is normal.”
There it is. The reason people only whisper about. The origin of double standards all together. Normal; It’s the societal reason for every social injustice on the planet. Society’s definition of normal: Heterosexuality is the norm. Any gay relationship isn’t normal or natural, therefore, they know they’re straight because that’s just how it is, that’s just how they feel. But, god forbid you suggest experimenting with being gay or arguing that it’s just how you feel. Well, that’s just wrong when a gay man does it! It’s okay for a straight man to suggest that a gay man try being with a woman because well, that’s how it should be anyway! There is no valid argument when it comes down to how you feel, when you’re gay. If you feel that way, cover it up. It’s not normal.
The entire idea that people have a different form of normal is a foreign concept to most men. It’s their way or the high way. It can be argued that most gay men are more yielding to accepting other people’s definitions of normal because they’ve seen adversity. They’ve lived it. And they don’t want anyone else to feel like their version of normal is any less important than somebody else’s.
Whatever the case may be, the straight man will forever be stuck in the ideology that this is a man’s world. Boys are born with the expectations of being the head of a household; raising a family while a wife stays behind with the children. That is fine. That’s a great way to live. But that is not for everybody. That isn’t the reality for some people and that should be just as fine.
The issue lies in the ignorance to accept that there are other people who don’t live as they do. The root of the problem is in society’s definition of normal. Maybe more importantly, the issue lies in the fact that there’s even a word that carries such a powerful meaning to begin with.