Beaten and bloody,
You leave me laying
In a broken heap,
On the floor…
I look through eyes
Already swelling shut,
To see our children’s
Tear filled eyes
Peeking out from behind
Our bedroom door…
I get to my knees,
With every fiber in my body
Shrieking in pain,
And I crawl to our children,
I hug them, the best I can,
With this now broken body…
With nothing more
Than the clothes on our backs,
We go to the local domestic violence shelter,
I swear to myself…
I file a Protection From Abuse order,
But the judge grants you
Visitation with our children,
With no family or friends to help,
I must see you for these visits…
Is fading from reality.
Giving excuses of being drunk, stressed,
Blaming me, and the children.
You swear it will never happen again
And all you want is your family back…
Is coming back in to a skewed focus.
I take you at your word,
I still love you,
And I want our children
To have the kind and sweet man
I used to know as their father,
We return to our home…
Not even a week goes by,
And I am in the hospital
With broken bones, a concussion, tubes
Coming out of what seems like everything.
The doctors say that I’m a miracle,
Because I should be dead…
You’re in jail,
Our children are in a temporary “home,”
While I’m in rehab for my injuries…
When I am released as healthy enough
To be on my own,
I return to the shelter,
To put my life together
And to fight to get our children back.
I file another PFA and continue the process
Of keeping you in jail.
The judge doesn’t grant you visitation this time.
I’m feeling confident of keeping to…
We go to trial,
Where they decide to put you away for a while.
I get a job, a new home,
And I get our children back…
I still wake up in the middle
Of the night,
Terrified of you.
Our children scream out in their sleep,
Because of the horror they witnessed…
As the years go by,
Those nights happen less and less…
We’re making it without you…
We are your victims…
Author’s note: Statistics have shown that 1 in 3 women experience domestic violence in their life time. Statistics have shown that 1 in 6 men experience domestic violence in their life time. If you are being abused or know someone being abused, please know that you are not alone, you do not deserve what is happening to you. There are people and programs that will help you, no one deserves to be terrorized in their own home, especially by those that profess love. If you want help, even if it’s just to talk, or to see what options are there, please call The National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY.) if you are interested in what services are available locally please check www.womenslaw.org they also have a “Know Your Rights” with laws regarding domestic violence. You are not alone.