I lost 22 pounds in the last three weeks through counting my calories on myfitnesspal.com. I am quite obese. My perception of me was way off. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a full figured, good looking and curvy lady with a little bit too much junk on her hips and thighs.
But my jeans size has gone up in the past year. I couldn’t believe that I was a size 18 at Lane Bryant and hoped that it was just the way it was cut. But no matter what I tried on, it wouldn’t fit.
I have a strong distaste of before-and-after weight-loss pictures. I refuse to believe that we all need to be skinny, muscular, sun-tanned and in “good shape.” What is a good shape anyway?
I am a big German girl. I associate big with funny, cozy and comfortable. I love people and people love me. My weight never came up.
However, it occurred to me when I was shopping one day that I barely see a fat woman in their 70ties in the store. When I see old ladies they are usually thin and their wrinkles around their eyes are telling me that they enjoyed life. A lot of bigger women my age don’t really look all that happy and taken care off. I was shocked when I saw one of my coworkers (the same age as me) using the scooter while shopping in Walmart because walking would exhaust her.
Both of my parents died of heart attacks in their 60s. Diabetes runs in my family. At a checkup for a good life- insurance policy I found out that, despite my weight I was totally healthy. I don’t have issues with high blood sugar, cholesterol nor high blood pressure. And, I like to keep it that way. I want to grow old.
Plus size 18 jeans are quite expensive especially from my favorite stores Lane Bryant and Torrid.
I bought a scale and I came to the realization that 225 pounds for a 5.5 foot woman is not just full figured. It is obese.
I don’t join weight watchers because I refuse to want to be punished for my weight. Television shows like the Big Loser are a big insult to me. What gives people the right to emotionally abuse women just because they don’t have the “ideal” weight?
No, I don’t want to chew on celery sticks and carrots my whole life. I tried this before, but this isn’t for me – not even for a little while. I don’t want to be on a diet for three or four weeks only to bounce back to my current life-style and gain it all back plus more. It happened before. I don’t particular like sweating or exercising. I couldn’t keep this up.
So I decided that the only way for me to lose weight is to keep enjoying my foods, but to watch my calorie intake. Currently, a piece of chocolate is melting on my tongue. The fragrance of dinner is already filling the air. We will have pot roast and mashed potato tonight. Maybe I even serve some Broccoli with it.
Food is not bad. Food is good! We can’t live without it. Since life requires me to eat I might as well appreciate it. I am looking forward to every meal and snack and make the most out of it.
My current daily calorie goal is 1200 a day. Since tracking every bite on myfitnesspal.com I learned that I will set priorities. Most times the Kit Kat just doesn’t make it in my shopping cart. But I am not going to be upset if it does. Senseless eating for no particular reason has stopped. But I delight in every bite of my fork.
As for my skin and stretch marks I have already started to tighten my skin with Defining Gel and body wraps from itworks.
I learned that food taste so much better when I control the food instead of having impulses controlling me. I loved food before, but now food tastes even better.
I don’t want to be skinny. Society can’t tell me that only skinny people are pretty. I have seen plenty of before-and-after pictures. Nine out of 10 times I liked the before pictures better. I just want to go back to 170 pounds, a size 12 or 14. Then I will increase my calorie intake to 1500 eating the same foods I eat now.
I am confident that I will stick to my goal (and then my weight) simply because I haven’t changed all that much. I love life without having to break a sweat and I also enjoy a Cappuccino with a spoon of whipped cream.