When I had my first child, I always thought that by his first birthday that I would be expecting another child for him to have a sibling. I had a cesarean section with my son and six months later, I decided to try to get pregnant. I thought that since I was in my early twenties that I would be able to get pregnant very quickly. I did not have to even try to get pregnant with my son but sadly I could not get pregnant again. I ended up having secondary infertility.
My Initial Reaction to Having Secondary Infertility
I was raised in a small town where everyone started having kids one after the other at a rather young age. My OB/GYN even said he would probably see me next year the day that he discharged me from the hospital. Every month that I was even a few days late, I would get excited, only to be let down with every negative pregnancy test.
It became hard to even login to my Facebook account because friends and family members were always posting ultrasound and new baby photos. I felt jealous and alone. I knew that my husband was most likely not the cause of my secondary infertility and it made me feel bad about myself so I gained weight. As my son got older, he would point to baby strollers and ask when he would get a baby too. I felt sad every time because I felt like I had let him and my husband down.
My Diagnosis of Second Infertility
My doctor met with me shortly after my son’s first birthday. He examined me and said that scar tissue and adhesions were not the cause of my infertility. I was told to spend the next six months charting my cycles and when I had intercourse. He also told me to exercise, take prenatal vitamins and to relax.
Six months later, I underwent hormone and egg tests and was told that my egg reserve was normal and that nothing was wrong with me. He said that I had secondary infertility. He told me I could undergo IUI which is intrauterine insemination if I wanted to.
Our insurance coverage did not cover this procedure and it would cost us thousands of dollars to try to have a baby. My husband and I also worried about hormone injections as these could cause cancer. I have had a lot of family members die from cancer so I did not want to risk it. We decided to just keep trying naturally.
I ended up trying holistic alternatives but nothing worked and so we stopped putting in an effort and decided to just enjoy being parents to our son and let nature decide our fate. Four years later, I suddenly got pregnant much to everyone’s surprise. I had a daughter and eight months later I was able to get pregnant again and had a healthy baby boy.
What I Learned from My Experience
I have learned that often it is better to not try to force your body to do something. I became very stressed when trying to have a second child that it overtook my life. I would advise others who have this medical problem to step away and relax for a while.
Stress can cause the body to not function correctly. I would also tell people to consider holistic medicine as it can also help with ovulation and energy levels. I think people need to be optimistic. My doctor always encouraged me even years into my struggle and it is crucial to have a solid support system.