I live in two states. Texas and California. Softer and harder. I find it’s healthy to discover a love of both.
I am in a fun and unique position to learn love for my body. As with many women I’ve struggled to see myself as sexy or cute or beautiful. There have been times when it was easy; not because I was well proportioned physically so much as because I was well balanced emotionally. And there have been times when it was horribly hard; not because I was overly disgusting to look at but because I was uncomfortably sensitive and looking for outside approval.
However, the past ten years have offered me the perfect storm of opportunities to just go ahead and love my body. And I’ve (mostly) taken advantage of these offerings to see that beauty!
The seed was planted when my husband consistently ignored my attempts at fishing for compliments, or even bit the bait with unromantic, unflattering responses. “Well, I don’t want no skinny woman,” is one example. My husband instead completely voiced a love of me. Who I was, not how I appeared.
But a belief in my body’s beauty didn’t truly blossom until I moved out of our Texas home to California for two years, in order to help my mom begin building her new business. Which, interestingly enough, is called Brain and Body.
My lifestyle in California was vastly different from my Texas one. In Texas our home hides deep in the woods, surrounded by nature and quiet growth. We hike, read, watch the world, think, write, and sit by the fire. But in California our home was in a suburb where I could walk to a nearby club to go dancing, hurry to the park to play tag, speed up beside the running neighbors who’d smile and sweat with constant movement and joy. The California me was active and toned. Initially I lost enough weight to make my oldest son worry that I might have cancer!
I learned that I didn’t really love my California body more than my Texas body, just different. And each state gave me plenty of takeaways that made the way I lived in the other even healthier!
Today I live in both states, travelling back and forth depending on where I’m most useful and comfortable in the moment, and always my body shifts with me.
I choose to eat healthy and think healthy regardless of where I live, but I also truly enjoy both lifestyles. My softer, fluffier Texas body and my tighter, thinner California body.
The trick is to first love who you are in all of your states, not how you look. My hubby taught me that. Appreciation for the rest happens almost naturally, as a byproduct of caring for and loving you.