Some of you might probably been in this place of life, or you are, at the moment, experiencing this awesome unproductive time and asking yourself “what I’m I doing with my life?” In this article we´re going to follow the life of an unemployed fella (hypothetically speaking of course) named Mike. We´ll “study” the changes he goes through, some psychological and other physical that we will mark him for the rest of his life. Follow me on this journey through the life of this poor creature of nature.
Mike, a guy graduated from collage had a really awesome job were money was good but out of the sudden he finds himself with no job due to (insert most pitiful reason you can imagine). Mike doesn’t worry since he of course got 10% of his salary on his savings account (yeah right) like a financially literate person. After a week or so, we start seeing the changes in Mike, he is no longer well shaved and well dressed, instead we find him with a thick beard and wearing flip flops with white socks. At this stage of his unemployment everyone can notice the change except for him. Now Mike, in his infinite wisdom, decides that with no job the only thing left to do is browse the internet, Of course, he looks for a job here and there, but those cool GIFS on the other tab are calling him, they miss him. At this point, after looking at some cute kittens, and of course some porn he realizes is 3:00 a.m. and it has been already two weeks since he had a job and the money, that magical thing the moves the world, is running out. The next step for our young fella is make that phone call some of you might have done in the past; yes I´m talking about the call to your parents asking for a bailout.
“Sure son here´s some money for rent, but wouldn´t it be better if you moved back with us” Oh poor Mike he is so desperate and craving something else than just noodles for dinner, he accepts the offer not knowing what awaits for him. So mike wakes up very early (9:00 am) every day for the past week without realizing he has lost control of his life and now his parents have it. The chores start making their appearance in Mike´s life and now he has to do the most unbearable thing possible; he has to make his bed!!! Of course the problem is not making his bed, the problem is that his mom told him to and he also has to take a shower, yes a shower. With his independence and self esteem gone, a wallet a 20 dollar bill (that his dad gave him) and a well shaved face Mike goes to a job interview.
I don´t know about you guys but with a month without a job Mike is having some issues with his self esteem since he thought he was a big shot but no employer has call him for an interview. So with sweaty hands, he shakes the hand of his hope to be new employer. Mike answers all the questions, and starts gaining confidence “Yes this looks like a good job” “Wow she seems real nice” “The salary is actually good”. So the interview ends, and the employer says “We are actually looking for someone with experience in the field but we´ll call you if anything comes up” Defeated, and with his head full of negative thoughts the only thing that will cheer him up is a drink with his buddies.
After losing any self respect left on him from begging for money to his dad, Mike goes to the local bar to meet with his employed friends. Mike asks for a beer, and realizes that is a very expensive beer (not really he just doesn´t have any money) so he drinks it as slow as possible. Of course all of his friends notice this and why wouldn´t they Mike used to drink like crazy back in the days. The next logical thing for Mike’s good buddies is to start making jokes about his unemployment and fooling around with him for being so cheap; great the last thing he needed. The weeks go by and his friends invite him to parties knowing his financial situation. (First party) “Don´t worry for the money we´ll pay for everything”, (second party) “hey, don´t worry it won’t be that expensive” In the third party Mike gets invited, he decides there won´t be any drinking for him, he´ll just socialize with his friends. After a few more parties following his great idea, Mike notices there are no more parties, or at least he hasn´t been invited to one (we all saw that coming). At this moment Mike has lost his independence, his social life, probably his friends and his self respect. No worries, Mike knows something will come sooner or later, while that happens is time to think outside the box. Mike goes and looks for some kind of help with his last friend remaining, the internet.
The last whereabouts we have from this “hypothetical” character is that he still lives with his parents, probably in the basement and he is trying to make a living as a writer…