Move over, Gwyneth Paltrow! There are two new celebs in town who are full of wacky lifestyle advice.
We can only dream that someday Jennifer Lawrence and Shailene Woodley will create their own GOOP-style lifestyle blogs telling us peasants how to live. At least their advice would be more amusing than insulting — I really can’t imagine J-Law saying she’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can (yes, Gwyneth actually said this).
Until there’s a SHOOP or a JOOP blog, we’ll have to settle for the fun lifestyle quotes that Jennifer Lawrence and Shailene Woodley drop during interviews. Here’s a look at some of the best quotes about how they live their fabulous lives:
During an interview with WebMD, Shailene Woodley shared her purse essentials. “I always have a notebook and I love to write during moments of feeling inspired,” she said. “I keep a flashlight because you never know when you might need that. And I have a lighter, because heat is so important just in case you’re ever stranded and you can build a fire. I did study survival skills.” It’s hard to imagine a celeb like Shailene getting stranded anywhere that requires her to start a fire in order to survive, but maybe someday she’ll show off her skills on the red carpet — it does get chilly during Oscar season, and the skin-baring dresses that celebs wear don’t look very warm.
During an appearance on the Oscars red carpet, Jennifer Lawrence listed the very different contents of her purse. “Candy, almonds, my phone, a Baby Ruth, Laffy Taffy,” she revealed. “The Hunger Games” star wouldn’t survive long in the wild with that stash, but maybe clever Katniss could use the Laffy Taffy and Baby Ruth peanuts to construct a few squirrel traps. At least J-Law could try to call someone to come looking for her if she ever gets lost in the woods — Shailene doesn’t even own a cell phone.
How to eat right
According to Jennifer Lawrence, chowing down on junk food is the secret to achieving nirvana. “At the end of the day, there’s probably nothing that makes me feel better than junk food and reality TV,” she said during an interview with Marie Claire.
However, Shailene Woodley isn’t a fan of Jen’s guilty pleasure. “I think it’s easy to not eat junk food, especially when some vegetables and fruits are just as sweet: such as raspberries and beets,” she told Teen Vogue. “When I feel like eating chips, instead of eating potato chips, I eat plantain chips… They are amazing!!!” I’d love to see Shay try to tell J-Law that she needs to trade her blue raspberry Laffy Taffy for a handful of real raspberries.
At least Jen gets a little fruit when she visits McDonald’s. During an Oscars red carpet interview, she offered this advice for those eating underneath the golden arches: “You have to remind them about ketchup because they never include ketchup; you have to ask for it. Cheapskates.”
While Jen is getting fast food at Mickey D’s, Shailene is heading to the mountains to forage for stinging nettles and mugwort. “Stinging nettle is so tasty; it’s like spinach. It’s so good for you too! It’s very nutritional,” she said on “The Rachael Ray Show.” And no, mugwort isn’t a potion ingredient from the Harry Potter books – it’s an herb that actually exists. Shailene also eats clay to clean heavy metals out of her body (is she a cyborg or something?).
How they make the most of their free time
During an Oscars red carpet interview with “E! News,” Jen revealed how she likes to spend her spare time. “I want to sit on my couch and drink and not change my pants for days at a time,” she said. Actually, why not ditch the dirty pants altogether? “If I don’t have anything to do all day, I might not even put my pants on,” Jen told Glamour. While she’s lounging around pants-less, J-Law enjoys watching “Dance Moms” and “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”
Instead of vegging out indoors, Shailene loves being in the great outdoors. She spends her free time practicing survivalist skills like “how to make shelter, build fire, and create weapons out of the ecosystem.” Why didn’t she score the role of Katniss, again?
Their ideal drinks
Jennifer Lawrence is more of a “Budweiser person,” but Shailene enjoys unwinding by brewing chaga mushroom tea in her Crock-Pot. J-Law probably wouldn’t be impressed if she cracked that slow cooker open — you just know that she’d hope to find it full of melted cheese.
Their hair care tips
Shailene Woodley saves water by only shampooing her hair once a month (she likes the way her natural oils make it look). Jen might get behind this beauty tip since she’s already fine with wearing dirty pants for days at time.
J-Law also has some helpful hair advice. Here’s what she told Vogue readers: “My family went on a cruise, and I got a terrible haircut. FYI: Never get your hair cut on a cruise.”
Their favorite natural remedies
“I make my own medicines; I don’t get those from doctors,” Shailene told Flaunt magazine. Luckily, “The Fault in Our Stars” star didn’t go on to describe a bogus natural treatment for cancer.
Jen might not know how to cure a cold with pine needles, but she does have one of the craziest natural remedies for getting rid of hiccups. She simply drinks water; raises her arms over her head; and lowers them very, very slowly. But here’s an important question that Shailene needs to know the answer to: Does Jen use a mason jar filled with fresh spring water gathered from a mountain?
Feminine health tips
J-Law once informed Chelsea Handler that she should start exercising her vagina. This is odd advice to give a stranger, but Shailene’s feminine health tip is even stranger. “Another thing I like to do is give my vagina a little vitamin D,” she told Into the Gloss.” If you’re feeling depleted, go in the sun for an hour and see how much energy you get. Or, if you live in a place that has heavy winters, when the sun finally comes out, spread your legs and get some sunshine.” This is how a wood nymph prevents yeast infections.
Who do you think has the best living advice?