We were best friends growing up, so I figured she would ask me to be her bridesmaid. And, of course, I’d say yes. After all, I thought, how hard can it be? I guess I didn’t realize how much was involved in being a bridesmaid. When I look back on it, I see that there are things I could have done better, but I also see the things I did right. Here are some tips on being the best bridesmaid you can be:
Meet and greet:
This one was not hard for me since I already knew everyone in the wedding party. But, if you don’t know all the other bridesmaids, try to make it your responsibility to introduce yourself and get to know them at least a little. You’ll probably be spending more time with them than you realize.
Remember that this is her day, not yours:
Most of us get jealous of a bride, even if we’ve already had our own day. Guess what? It doesn’t matter. This is the bride’s day. Either you’ve had your chance or you will have your chance. If you’re always trying to be the center of attention, stop it! If you’re jealous, hide it! The term is ‘bridezilla’ … not bridesmaidzilla.
Let her know you’re there for her:
The bride is going to be crazy busy. Booking venues, churches, DJs; choosing flowers, cakes, dresses; even finding a wedding planner, all of this takes a great deal of time and effort. However exciting, planning a wedding is still an immense undertaking. Let the bride know you’ll help whenever and wherever possible. You may even suggest that she make a list of things you can do to lighten the load.
Show up and be punctual:
You will be asked to attend dress fittings, shower, rehearsals, rehearsal dinner, etc. If you truly can’t make it, that’s one thing, but if you’re just jealous or treating her wedding like it’s not important, that’s something else entirely. She has way too much to do to sit around waiting for you. She needs you to show up and be on time.
I confess that I caused just a wee bit of trouble about the dress. I didn’t like it, and I said so. Looking back, I should have kept my stinking mouth shut. The last thing the bride needs is trouble from her bridesmaids. She has enough on her mind.
Treat her wedding like it’s not important:
I remember one of our bridesmaids who actually told the bride, “I don’t do showers.” She also showed up late the day of the wedding and asked when she was going to get her coffee. (Then, of course, when it was time for her to get married, it was a totally different story.) The story doesn’t have to be about you in order to be important. Again, if you haven’t already, you will get your chance. Step aside and allow someone else to be happy. Don’t ever steal someone else’s joy!
Give your opinions unless solicited:
Whatever the bride and groom choose in the way of flowers, reception hall, dresses, etc., is their business. They don’t need to know that you think the flowers aren’t what you would have chosen, or that you think the hall is tacky. These are their choices to make. Sometimes silence really is golden.
Agree to be a bridesmaid if you don’t want to be:
This is the most important day of their lives. Again, it’s not about you. Naturally, getting married is a huge step, and they want to start off their new life together on the happiest note possible. Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor. Please treat it as such.
Ultimately, there is only one thing you need to do as a bridesmaid … put yourself in the bride’s shoes. During the planning and on the big day, think about how you would like your bridesmaids to act … and do that.