I immediately hated the building.
Walls painted tan, clay mud flung against plywood,
A sickly plainness. I hesitated to breathe
for fear that the slightest whisper might blow the building apart.
It needed to be boisterous and loud.
It seemed wrong that it wasn’t.
Z drove me, he was a tall Mexican man.
Terrifying to see, but fluffy like a teddy bear.
The black truck was old and well driven.
Bits of the paint had been worn out.
In the bed random knickknacks and tools were strewn about.
Steadying me as I lost my balance.
Life seemed stolen from me.
The cool hand of the Reaper pulling my spirit from my breath
We were greeted by a young man in black.
Leading us to a side room where friends and aliens sit in silence
Small and chapel like, little benches lining the sides.
Sitting down, I couldn’t breathe.
Z goes ahead of me meeting our friends.
Shaking hands, hugging, it all seems wrong.
Regaining myself, I stood and walked down the aisle.
Joining them, no hugs and no shaking hands.
The wells of my soul found the box at the end of the room.
“Did you see him?”
He walked to the end of the room, where the box sits.
With slow hesitant steps I follow.
A child that has been sent to the principals office.
I don’t want to go to the pine contraption,
blackness and despair are inside.
Up the two small steps and there it is the box.
The lid is open and the treasure inside exposed,
red sweater and khaki slacks seems fitting.
He looks asleep, but he isn’t.
He fell off a highway overpass.
Z is bent over him, he’s handing him a valentine.
Something we had almost been, maybe.
Then I remember that Valentine’s Day was three days before.
I always hated Valentine’s Day.
It’s my turn.
I don’t know what to do.
Can I touch him?
Is that okay?
I want to, but I don’t want to offend anyone, I don’t want to lose control.
I haven’t caused a scene yet, I don’t intend to.
My hand over his crossed hands.
Skin feels like skin, but it isn’t warm anymore.
It isn’t cold but it isn’t warm,
life has rushed from here like wind in a storm.
I try to think of something to say but all I come up with is “Goodbye”