I got a call from my son’s school today. They said he was a little provocative. He wrote his teacher a letter on a post it note that said, “Dear M, You are sexy. I love you!!! Love, Teddy.”
This was after she gave him the Valentine card she made for him before the break with a Minecraft Creeper face on it. He was always pretty sweet on her, but that cemented it.
A few months back he said, “Hey, sexy lady!” to a woman on the street. She laughed and so did I, but my sister told him that that wasn’t appropriate to say to someone. At the time, I thought kind of what Teddy thought, what’s wrong with that? Until I got a call saying he was a little provocative. I was a little embarrassed and a bit proud of my Jr. man and, I have to say, a little taken aback.
There is such a disconnect between adults and children at times. We do not remember the growing pains, when certain things start to happen, and how amazing a simple expression can be. He’s just a little boy expressing himself to the new love in his life. His beautiful, sweet teacher who took the time to make individual cards for all the kids in his class and put his favorite thing on his.
But he is also a boy, and she is a girl. And well, let’s just say there are the stirrings of something going on for him at the young age of six. My heart soars at the unadulterated physiology of it all and then falls flat because I will have to deal with this.
I asked him when we got home what he thought sexy meant. “It is when a grown up tells another grownup she looks good.” He said with a sly, swaggery smile and a nodding head.
I went on to ask him if he was a grown up. “No. So now I have to wait until I’m a grown up to say she looks good? And say bad words?”
I suppressed a laugh and said that it wasn’t appropriate and that he wasn’t in trouble, “No one is upset with you. You don’t know the rules. Adults need to tell you them. But now that you know the rules, I will expect you to follow them. What other words could you have used to tell her she looked good?”
We went through a few words, pretty, cute, etc. But then he said the one thing a mom of a 6 year old fears, “But she is more than just pretty.”
Oh. Boy. Oh. Boy.
“I know you like her…” I started.
“I love her.” he interrupted.
“Okay, you love her. But that is inappropriate to say to a grownup. Ok? You understand the rule? Do you have any more things that you think you need a rule for?”
“No. Um, yes. Can I say that to a girl my own age?”
At the end of the day, I know that my son was only really trying to express himself. And while, I know this will be an ongoing conversation, I am proud of him for not being afraid to tell someone who means a lot to him how he feels. We are so afraid in this world to let someone know and I don’t want to take that away from him…not yet, not ever…however inappropriate his delivery might have seemed.