If we love someone, we just do. We don’t have to explain it to ourselves or others or even the person we love.
If we over-analyze why we love someone, we might talk ourselves foolishly out of loving them. It is best just to go with the feeling, and let the feeling of loving someone wash over our entire existence without resisting it or talking ourselves out of it.
We live in a culture obsessed with love, but also rationalizing, which means we have a tendency to treat love coldly. It is our natural inclination, to tell our friend who is madly in love with a stranger how silly they are.
We become cynics and declare that love at first sight is lust at best.
We forget the magic of love, that we can know someone inside and out by the way they hold a spoon, or smile at us when they wave goodbye, or put on their socks left foot first.
We forget that we can know love instantly because love is the most familiar and natural feeling in the world. We are meant to feel it when it comes our way.
Sometimes love happens suddenly and the course of our lives are forever changed.
If we love someone, we are allowed to fight for that love, until our courtship is rejected and our crush informs us that our love is unrequited, (which I will be writing an article on the subject of unrequited love, so tune back in), but this article is not about unrequited love, it is simply about loving.
Love has no scientific explanation. All science says, is love is a chemical that occurs so people stay together long enough to raise a family, but how do you explain homosexual love that is just as powerful. I think real love transcends biology and has nothing to do with reproduction. Love isn’t about sex. Sex is about sex.
If we love someone, I mean down to their core, and would travel the whole earth just to hear their voice again, then we should never peer pressure them for anything and that includes sex. We often attempt to subtly manipulate or peer pressure our crushes into sex. We may not even be aware we are doing this, which is why it happens so frequently.
Men are big perpetrators of this move, but baby if you love me you will (insert sexual activity).
When we are the one with the crush, and are hormones are racing, we may feel like the appropriate action to take is physical, that it is time to take it to the next level, but this can have a disastrous outcome if our partner is not ready, if we try to guilt them into it by overwhelming them with our feelings, or taking advantage of them when they are drunk or emotionally vulnerable.
Patience is a virtue, and we should never rush the physical natures of our intimate relationships. We should realize we have our whole lives to get physical and respect their personal boundaries. We should never rush into sex, because though it can be phenomenal, and mind altering, what really creates intimacy is talking.
If we love someone we should be ecstatic just to talk to them, and if we start making the relationship about sex and nothing else, we can know we don’t really love them. Our friend was right, and it was lust we were experiencing, because true love is patient and preserving.
If we love someone, we should always be kind to them and as affectionate as they allow us to be without being nauseating.
We should take the time to notice the little things about them, like how they make all their major life decisions by flipping a quarter, or always wear their hair in a ponytail on Sundays, or smell every sunflower they see, or how their eye begins to twitch when they hear Yellowcard because it reminds them of really bad sex they had.
If we love someone, we should be a part of their lives in any way they let us. Real love doesn’t have to be romantic. It is nice if is, but romance is just one type of love. The foundation of love is friendship and friendship is a very powerful bond.
If we love someone we should try our hardest to be their best friend and always be there when they need us.
I used to joke with people that they should feel honored to be in the friend zone because I keep my friends for life, I keep boyfriends for months.
Last but not least, if we love someone we should tell them and tell them in a big way, hire a marching band, rent a billboard. Make it a moment that is memorable, instead of turning it into a silent and awkward conversation.
Good luck with the courtship!