The decision to end a marriage isn’t one that is made over night. It’s a decision that takes months, even years to make.
Infidelity… If your spouse has been unfaithful once you may be able to forgive, forget, and move past his or her mistake. It will take a lot of hard work to rebuild the trust, and to overcome the hurt and feelings of betrayal but it can be done. If your spouse has been unfaithful more than once it’s a sure sign that they will not change their lying, cheating ways. Infidelity is one of the number one causes of divorce. Honestly, if your spouse has strayed on more than one occasion it’s a good indicator that it is time to make the decision to end the marriage.
Fighting…Sometimes two people just cannot get along. Call it a personality clash, call it a battle of the wills, call it whatever you want. Fighting is not good for anyone involved. It hurts not only you, and your spouse, but also anyone who is in the middle, such as your children, friends or family. If you and your spouse argue more often than you get along it’s another indicator that it may be time to end your marriage and consider getting a divorce.
Abuse…Domestic violence is not something that should ever be tolerated or accepted. If your spouse has ever hit kicked, slapped, choked, or pushed either you or your children it is time to end the marriage. Abusers often will apologize after they have abused. They will say they are so sorry, they didn’t mean to, it will never happen again. Don’t believe it! I believed it for far too long and it happened again, and again and again. The abuse isn’t always physical. Yelling, name calling, insulting, and degrading are also considered forms of abuse. Once it happens once it will happen again. Your spouse lacks self control. When a stressful event or situation arises they react with anger and you and your children pay for it. Many times it won’t be anything you yourself did wrong. I remember days when my ex came home from work after a long, hard day. He would take it out on me and the kids when we did NOTHING to deserve his anger and rage. Nothing at all. If that sounds familiar get out of the marriage as soon as you can. It’s time to get a divorce. It’s not going to get better and 9 times out of 10 it WILL get WORSE.
Things to think about when deciding…Unless it’s a situation of domestic violence you should wait until you are financially ready before initiating a divorce. Be sure that you can support yourself, and your children. Make sure you will have a place to live, a vehicle, etc. If the marriage isn’t that bad you may want to consider trying to make it work. Minor problems can often be resolved with time and effort. If you and your spouse are still in love and he or she is not abusive, or unfaithful, try to save your marriage. Get counseling, spend more quality time together, make a list of the reasons why you married him or her in the first place. Divorce is final and permanent. Once you are divorced you are no longer married. Think it through very carefully. Don’t make a decision you will regret.