I have been helping a number of group sessions lately to parents on various strategies to keep in touch with their teenagers. Something that has a tendency to resonate with a lot of parents is the topic of making choices and the habits which go in addition to that. I ask this question: “Can you manage another person’s actions?” I allow parents to think about that question for a small amount of time. Have you seen a young child sprawled out in the centre of the shop screaming simply because they desired something and the mother said no? Ever say to your little ones to do one thing and they do the other or they don’t do anything? As an grownup, what would you feel like doing when somebody points what to do? It does not really matter the age, we choose how we respond. And that’s where choice comes in.
How much do you control your teens? Does your teen consider that they cannot have any say in decisions being made that affect them? Try allowing your teenager make some of the choices in his or her life and see how it proceeds. You simply may be pleasantly amazed. If this type of idea frightens you, then start out small and as you see your kid making good choices, you are going to have significantly more trust to let them begin to make even more choices. Build on that and work your way up. For instance, you could start by simply making an agreement for your child to accomplish some elementary tasks by a set date and time. Then it’s possible to give them a curfew and see if they keep to it, allow them address a situation with their teacher and follow up to see how they did. Think about some choices that you would probably like your youngster to make, let them make those choices, and see how they do.
You should continuously think about this question:
Will my actions push my teen away or draw them closer?
It’s an perfect question for every parents to ask themselves. Remember that i’m not saying you should not have regulations and limitations in your family and it really is not a free for all for your child to make all the choices. What this means is, if you give your teen choices in a variety of areas, it will certainly show your teen that you have respect and trust for them.