When we have a friend who is facing divorce, it can affect our friendship. Most of the time people don’t know how to help a friend who is going through a divorce unless they have been in the same situation. For those of us who have never been through a divorce there are something’s we can do in order to help our friend get through this part of their life.
The first thing you want to do when you are trying to help a friend who is going through a divorce is to allow them to have their feelings. This means that no matter what they are feeling be it sadness, anger, or resentment that you allow them to have those feelings. When people first start going through a divorce there is usually sadness that the relationship has ended. Your friend thought that they would be with that person for the rest of their lives and it has come to an end. If there are children involved, it may be worse. Allow your friend to work through their feelings without your input on how they should feel.
Listen to what your friend is saying. If you really want to be supportive to your friend while they are going through a divorce, you need to learn how to really listen to what they are saying. Be able to explain to them that what they are going through is normal and be the shoulder they need when they need it. Make sure you give your friend your full attention. Turn off your cell phone, television, and do your best to stop any interruptions. Allow your friend to express themselves without feeling as if they are going to be judged.
Don’t express what you think about the divorce or the way your friend is handling it. It doesn’t really matter if you agree with the divorce or how your friend is dealing with it. What does matter is that they know that no matter what their decision is that you will be supportive them. They need to know that even if you do not understand why they make the choices they make that you will be there for them when they need someone.
Check in often with your friend. You never know, you may be the only person they are talking to about the situation. If you check in often with your friend you will also be able to keep an eye on their mental stability. A lot of people commit suicide after the loss of a marriage and it is important to let your friend know they are not facing this alone. Make sure they know that they are not driving you crazy with their problems and that you are there no matter what.
Helping a friend through a divorce can be a trying time but there is hope. If you follow the tips above you will be able to help your friend through their divorce and make your relationship stronger in the end. Who knows, some day you may need them to help you through a similar situation.
