Why does it seem that some people find love so easily? They are loved by friends and family and they find romantic love too.
Finding love seems to be a secret that some people possess while others cannot find it. However, there really is a formula for finding love. It’s not about becoming better looking or being manipulative. It’s about acquiring a few habits that make you someone that people want to be around.
So, here we go:
1) Be lovable. Sounds obvious, right? Yet, there are so many people who say “nobody loves me”. Do we ever ask ourselves if we are lovable? Are our habits and personalities things that people would like to be around? Do we show interest in people or only talk about ourselves? Even worse than talking about ourselves, do we demonstrate self-pity whenever we have the chance to socialize and find love?
2) Listen more than you talk. This could go right along with being lovable. In his famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” Dale Carnegie emphasizes over and over again the importance of listening. He makes a special point of noting that nobody dislikes a person who knows how to listen. This can be a hard habit to break. Notice yourself in public, however. Are you enamored with your own voice and thoughts? Do you really listen when people are speaking or do you just wait for your turn to talk? It’s easy to get wrapped up in the things we want to say and it’s easy to want to chime in when somebody is speaking. So, how do you overcome this bad habit?
3) Be interested not interesting. Instead of thinking about how interesting you are or how to entertain people, be legitimately interested in them and what they have to say. Start believing that everyone has a story to tell. Look forward to finding out about the new people you meet. Start investing more in old friends.
4) Be generous. We live in a selfish culture. This is probably related to survival. Throughout time, humanity has had to focus on getting enough to survive. However, it has been proven that competition among humans has actually only been a recent development. In prehistoric times, survival was cooperative. It was not man against man. Groups worked together to insure that they were going to make it. They had to help one another in order for everyone to live. The same goes for us today. Practice the art of giving to others. Give more than you think you can. Go without certain luxuries and give in place of spending on things you don’t really need. The good things that we do come back to us. It is a cosmic truth. While your good may not be returned directly by the person who you did good for, it will come back to you. But, it may come back in another form or from another place. The good news is, it will usually come back multiplied many times over. So, stop looking for what you can get, and start looking for what you can give. You will receive more than you can imagine.
5) Be Yourself. You’re not the best looking? The best athlete? The best dresser? So what! If you are trying to be someone other than who you are, this will come out and you will appear to be lacking in confidence. A lack of confidence is the most unattractive quality. Confidence, however, can quickly cross the line into arrogance. And, while arrogant people may attract admirers in the short term, they quickly become intolerable. Also, when you are yourself, it is important to be your best self. Seek to be really good at being who you are. Master your hobbies. Work at your job diligently. Be clean and neat.
6) Laugh. Everyone likes a person with an appropriate sense of humor. Having a sense of humor, though, doesn’t mean that you are funny, it means that you have a sense of humor. In other words, you can find what’s funny in most situations. Now, this doesn’t mean you should laugh at everything. Notice that the word sensitive is derived from the word sense. A real sense of humor means that one can tell the difference between what is truly funny and what is in poor taste.
7) Be grateful: When you are grateful for your life, people will see this. It will shine through in your skin, your posture and your smile. If you demonstrate true gratitude for your life, you cannot help but be attractive to others. You don’t even have to try. It doesn’t matter if you don’t make a lot of money or have the most things, people will want to be near you.
In the end, you don’t actually have to find love, love will find you. You will radiate a confidence and joy that others will be drawn to and they will feel safe and cared for in your presence. You won’t have to go looking for love from others. It will find its way to you.