Someone say or do something to hurt your feelings? How long does it take you to get over it and move on?
There are all types of personalities in the world and each personality type responds differently to other people’s responses towards them. Personally, I’m not the type to get into heated arguments with people when someone says or does something to offend me. However, I will attempt to assert myself in a controlled manner and retreat quietly into my emotions.
Experience has taught me to approach people’s responses differently, contrary to “how” I responded in former years, and here’s the reason “why”: There’s a reason “why” offense is taken in response to someone else’s comments or actions. Understanding “why” you’re offended is – “key” to “how” you handle other peoples response towards you.
Looking at self
There was a time when I would simply “react” to being offended or someone hurting my feelings. I found by not taking the time to consider “why” I was offended – I simply, reacted, without thinking; there are people out there that know just what buttons to push to take you there, but I’ve learned — via experience — to understand that I don’t have control over another person’s mouth or actions and people are going to respond in manners that I don’t agree with and voice their responses whether I approve or not; therefore, “how” I respond to another person’s verbal remarks, and actions, is what makes the difference.
The reason’s to “why” a person might be offended by someone’s remarks or actions, are held within the person taking offense; even though in the spare of the moment it might be difficult to step back and take a moment to say “ok” why is this comment or action offending me, and how should I approach it, that’s what’s required to surpass reacting and that comes either with experience or gaining understanding from someone else’s experience.
It’s like a conversion – converting from subjective thinking (taking things personally and reacting) to objective thinking — not letting things effect you emotionally and evaluating your own emotions and understanding that what comes out of another person’s mouth is beyond your control and allowing it to cause you to enter into a heated argument or scuffle doesn’t solve anything.
So in answer to “how long does it take me to get over being upset with someone that has offended me or hurt my feelings?” the answer is: not long at all, because I’ve learned to approach it in the manner stated above. If I can’t work things out with a person, come to a mutual understanding and we move beyond it, I’ll simply move on and hope the other person will arrive there eventually. Until then, I don’t subject myself to their company.
Human nature is what it is and we’ve all had our bouts with other people. However, becoming a more spiritual person and responding in positive ways is also a part of learning to behave and react in a more humane manner towards one another.
I hope this post and the links below will touch you in a manner that will cause you to reflect on that consideration.