Never was I ever going to search for love on the Internet. That just will never happen… Famous last words.
Not finding love or finding someone to love, then finding out that they are not in a position to be with anyone is so very frustrating. No matter how long we wait for someone or try to find just the right person to spend the rest of our lives with, can be depressing and exhausting. As bad as a job that you really don’t want to give up just in case something wonderful comes out of the situation.
I was determined to find the man that wanted to share the rest of my life with. Well…what was left anyway. Being middle-aged I figured that one day, if I could find someone with the slightest interest, I would be happy. I would joke about having to make sure I got him at a weak moment, drag him to the judge and get married before he had a chance to change his mind. I also would say, “I will probably have to go out of state or out of country to find my man.” In a way, I was serious.
I had been married to my husband for 18 years. We had children, a girl and a boy. Hubby passed away when they were teenagers and being a single parent was anything but delightful. Yes we had good times but I missed so much bouncing ideas off my husband, getting his input on even silly things. Then when some found out that I wanted to get married again, they wondered why. I had all this freedom, why tamper with doing what I wanted, when I wanted. Oh, I had freedom…to be lonely, miserable when the kids were over to friends homes, seeing other couples and families live their lives. I remember not being able to go to weddings for a while. It just hurt way too much to see what I had lost.
Ten years go by and I made up my mind, I am going to find someone. No matter where they are, I was ready to get married again. I had helped many with their loved ones in caring for them. Helped some to get to doctor appointments, shopping, listening to some who had issues with depression, doing volunteer work on many projects. I really filled my life with good activities. I prayed so very hard for 4 years to find someone. Since none were calling me or asking me to date, I felt I could find someone. So…on the internet I went. Yes I did. What a hypocrite I felt like. Giving others a bad time when they did it, how I ate my words. You know, I paid a heavy price too. Went on a website that said they could find someone with my same outlook on life, goals, interests. Oh yes, I thought I could do this… What a fool I was. I found someone alright. They saw me coming and knew how to pull at my heartstrings. He told what I wanted to hear and used his son, his mother’s death, and even his so-called heart attack to money from me. I saw the signs but didn’t want to accept them and yes, got what I deserved. LESSON learned.
Certain friends were supportive and family knew I paid a price for wanting a mate so badly. Through talking to friends, getting encouragement and support is what got me through. I am so thankful for that.
So I decided, “OK, if I am to be single, I won’t enjoy it but I will deal with it.” I figured if God wanted me single, then I will be single. Not as happy but life goes on. The day I told the scammer to take a hike, I felt so brokenhearted but yet relieved. He was demanding, not happy when I was out with friends, did not like me not answering his calls, the list goes on. My son proved to me he was a fraud and I said that if I ever saw him, the police would be called. That was on a Sunday and I was finished with the dating site and closed my account.
The very next day, you guessed it, a man contacted me through a social website. I thought, ” OH NO, not again. I will not go through this, I refuse to be scammed again.”
I told this man, everything I went through, that I would not believe a word he said, heard it all before. No matter what, trust was a long ways away at this point. To my amazement, he listened, commented on how sorry he was that I went through this. Said he wish he had known me before. He was kind, understanding, thoughtful, courteous, seemed sincere but I was too hurt and mad to do any trusting or believing anything he wanted to tell me.
For 7 days…seven days, this patient, caring man took time to convince me that he was not out to scam me, did not want my money…that was news…wanted to get to know me and asked about my family and friends. What my life had been like when I was married. Anything and everything that we talked about is what he wanted to know. I was stunned but not very trusting still. I did inform him that I would be investigating him, asking people about him, had friends in his area and that they would be checking information about him, where he lived, worked, what kind of person he was…I really put him through the wringer. Do you know what I found out? Every single word, detail, piece of information that left his lips…was the truth! I know your mouth has dropped…I was dumbfounded, amazed, excited, elated, hopeful but cautious. I didn’t want to get too excited, you know, just in case. I even told him the medications I was on, the limitations I have, things I didn’t like about myself…he didn’t leave. He kept calling and sending me messages and emails. It has been a year so far and I love this wonderful, spiritual, caring, sweet, patient and loving man.
Oh, I do want to mention, he lives in Africa with his family and I live in the United States. He is 20 years younger and says that age is just a number. We are planning to get married as soon as his visa is approved. We have seen each other…on the webcam. We talk every day and have sent over 22,000 messages on a social website…not the same one that I got scammed on…just so you know.
I am the happiest woman on the face of this earth. He is so worth the distance since my love for him is deeper than any ocean and fills more than our universe. I enjoy being in love with Chris. I fall deeper and deeper in love with him each and every day.