There are many reasons why a father and his son/daughter may have a negative relationship. If you know what I am talking about, you are probably running the varied scenarios in your head right now. No matter the issues involved in your relationship with your dad, forgiving him is the only way you can free yourself and move on. Forgiving does not mean allowing abuse or your dad in your life. It is about letting go of hurt, anger, misunderstandings, and negative assumptions you have about someone that is controlling you. If by forgiving, you can overcome the negatives in your relationship with your dad, then, maybe you can move forward to a more positive future with him and others.
My inspiration for forgiving my dad is in these Bible verses below:
“Honor your father and your mother…”
It is a good reminder. It does not say honor your father and mother if they deserve it, just do it.
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; …”
As a daughter and a mother, I know no matter how hard you try, you will provoke your kids at times, whether you mean to or not. Parents are people too. They make mistakes, bad choices, and can behave badly but for the most part are doing the best they can with the knowledge and skills they have at the time.
“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
A good reminder to ourselves that we are not perfect. Whether we mean to offend someone or not, we will and do. Usually, if we are not aware of the offense until it is pointed out to us, we want to be understood, forgiven, obtain unconditional love, be given a second chance, and for others to treat us how they want to be treated. We get what we give, most of the time, so if you cannot accept people for who they are, grow up and be humble, kind, gentle, and forgiving, then the only person you can blame for your unhappiness and negative relationships is you.
Pros and Cons of Forgiveness
Win/Win situation- even if the forgiven party does not care about being forgiven, does
not reciprocate, or does not know about your decision to forgive them.
No longer allow a perceived enemy to rent space in your head
Focus on a positive future instead of a negative past
Love more, hate less
Gain maturity and wisdom
There really is no con in forgiving someone and setting yourself free.
Ultimately, it is your decision whether you choose to contribute to a negative relationship, continually playing scenes over and over in your head, working yourself into a frenzy, continuing to hold a grudge, and play the victim. Forgiving others for their shortcomings benefits the person performing the act mentally, emotionally, and possibly physically, since holding on to bitterness can affect your health. When in doubt, forgive. It does a body good.
Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.