So she hasn’t talked to you since Valentine’s Day? We can waste our time arguing the valid merits of Valentine’s Day being a commercial holiday, but if your sweetheart is mulling over the missed opportunity for you to show her the love she expected, as a woman, I can vouch that “flub” is not the “F” word that she probably has running through her mind.
No problem. The “F” word for you today is “Fix”. You are a man with a plan. Borrowing a line from Wild at Heart by Barry Gifford, (the way a woman’s head works) is God’s own private mystery. Here is a woman’s advice to the mystery of our minds and how you can fix your flub.
Fix 1: Say, “I’m Sorry”. You don’t know what you did wrong? Irrelevent! She will not tell you the reason until she feels you are sincerely sorry for any (and all!) mistakes you made. Get her heart to soften with an apology, then you can find out what you did wrong. Apologize with a phone call or text message.
Already did that with no response? Bring out the big guns and pick a song that means something to you about her love. E-mail or facebook her the link. Tell her why the song reminds you of your relationship. Not into music? Send a photo, a link to a book, or magazine article. Apologize any way that you can think of.
Fix 2: Convey Intimacy. Your intimacy will rekindle her intimacy. 99% of all Valentine’s Day flubs have something to do with a failure to convey intimacy. No, she did not want a fabulous new vacuum cleaner although it says you appreciate her hard work in the home. She does not want flowers in a black vase because it matches her excellent interior designing motif. She wants you to share with her your personal, private, vulnerable self.
You are a man’s man? Meow and good for you! So man up and get that girl back. Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose remind you, “You know a woman is sentimental and so easy to upset. So make her feel that she’s for real… and she’ll give you happiness.” That means saying – with your man words – what she needs to hear. Tell her you love her and tell her how she touches your heart. Also known as, “Why she turns you on”, but I advise you not to use those words.
Fix 3: Hit the Rewind Button. You said the wrong thing about calories while giving her chocolates. You brought up a bad subject after you had too many drinks with dinner. God forbid you saw or spoke to an ex-girlfriend – or any other female for that matter – while you were on your romantic date. Yes, you messed up. Throw your arms in the air in frustration. Valentine’s Day has a huge amount of pressure!
Now, get over it. Not only can you fix it, you can make it better than what she expected. If she lets you in the door, you get a do-over. Do the chocolates, flowers, teddy bear thing again and do it right. Ask her for a date this weekend and explain that you specifically want another chance to show her (the right way) how much you love her being in your life. Not only do women love gifts and attention, we love looking forward to gifts and attention! This means we imagine you doing the right thing every day until you do the right thing. Bonus for you!
Fix 4: You Know What You Did Wrong: You Forgot. The guys who need the other four fixes are rolling their eyes at you, but you can handle the ribbing. What you can’t handle is the ego-crushing things she said about why you forgot. Yes, you are probably angry at her, too. That is not going to get you off the couch and back in the bedroom. The only way to fix this is to own it.
Pick the least hurtful (or most truthful) thing that she said your reason for forgetting was and repeat it back to her with an apology. If this works, you can move to Fix #3 and make a date with her. And, do not let this happen again. She may not forgive the second time.
Do what you need to do to prepare for holidays and birthdays that fits with your personality. Set up a reminder on your phone or e-mail. Ask the flower shop to call you with reminders. Buy something and gift wrap it and let it gather dust until next year, but do what you gotta do to remember. The couch is just not as comfortable as her head on your chest.
Fix 5: She’s Takes My Money: She’s a Gold Digger. She asked you for something with specifics and you didn’t get it for her? Well, if you don’t like gold diggers then it wasn’t a good match. Thank your stars and wallet that she isn’t talking to you anymore.
However, it takes all kinds of love to make the world go ’round so, if you miss your princess, then get her what she wants. She told you exactly how to convey your love and you didn’t, so she thinks you don’t love her. Girls are goofy, but the math is easy. Buy it. Give it. Say it, “I’m sorry.” Hear her say today’s “F” word, “I forgive you.”