Since becoming a father – and then a sole custodial father – it has become increasingly apparent we are at the low-end of the parenthood spectrum. We, meaning fathers of course. From limited fatherhood grants and deduction benefits to being openly made fun of as men, I believe a change should occur.
How would you feel if your son or daughter saw the commercial about Dad’s (men) being complete slobs when you are their only parent? Mother’s – I’m sorry. You ladies have been doing this far longer than men, but we are not all pigs – AND we do not always pee on the toilet seat. Growing up in rural Alabama, I heard about men leaving their wife and child – or children – to be with another woman or they have a mid-life crisis, but times are changing. I am meeting more and more men who are stepping up to the plate as strong father figures – not slobs.
When are we going to see Dad-For-Dads branding hit the shelf? I see more commercials feed into the mother’s theme than anything else. I have NEVER seen a commercial from well-known cleaning products cater to me – the sole bread-winning single dad.
It would be nice – once in a while – to see a commercial or program praising fathers for their hard work. Encourage communities to embrace fatherhood as a privilege instead of a chore. If there were half as much time and money spent advertising what strong parenting and fathers do for children, maybe flighty fathers would stick around and be a part of the beauty that is child-rearing.
My Custody Battle Story
For me, custody battling was part luck and part humble-learning. Illinois is one of the most progressive father’s rights states in the Union. Alabama immediately threw the case back to Illinois where I was awarded 100% custody at 7 mo old. If I would have lost in Alabama, it would be mandatory for the child to stay with the mother until the age of two.
Like I said, part luck.
When in the courtroom, I watched eight men stand before me and beg the judge, curse the judge, and tell the judge it was not theirs. When I was called, my defense started and finished within a few minutes.
The judge called me out as an example. She said, “Let this be a lesson to all in the room. Just because you want your child does not mean you should be praised for your actions. You should want to be a part of their life until your death. With that, I award you full custody.”
Like I said, part humble-learning.
Ladies – just because we are men does not mean we are incapable of proper childcare.
Have you experienced a crazy story or believe in father’s rights advocacy? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.