Did you know that most abusive relationships evolve from psychological daunting and lowering of self- confidence done to the victim by his/her abuser?
Meaning, most abusive spouses usually start by indirectly gaining power or control towards the victim, way before they start on the physical or verbal (Verbal might exist) abuse. Unfortunately, so many victims fall prey into such relationships unaware of the outcome.
Warning signs – Will your relationship become abusive? – This article is meant to help spot an abusive partner in the making…
- They Are Very Possessive
Abusive partners have a tendency of being very jealous and possessive! In the mid stages of the relationship, they make it seem like, they fear losing you, due to the intense love they feel for you, when it’s really a case of insecurities.
They always want to know where you are, who you’re with, when your coming home. You’re expected to constantly check in.
It then slowly evolves to them spying on your phone, your whereabouts, asking their friends to keep their eyes on you. Before you know it, they’re even accusing you of flirting or cheating etc.
- They Foster fear In The Victims
Abusive partners will hit the wall, break something in the house, shout and threaten you just to show you how angry they are while at the same time creating fear in you. They know if they do this, you won’t fight back or turn against them once they start battering you.
- They Isolate You From Friends & Family
After a short while they start looking for reasons to cause problems or to distance you from anyone close, be it family or friends. They always make others look like the “bad guys” and he/she is the only one who genuinely cares and loves you.
- Verbal Abuse
He/she freely insults you, degrades you and calls you all kinds of bad names. Even using the “F” and “B” word on you. Puts you down, kills your self-esteem, makes you feel like a nobody and has you convinced you’re nothing without them.
- No Financial Access
This is a common case with women. He comes up with the excuse of wanting you to be a house wife, taking care of the family while he provides like a man should. Before you know it you have no access to any funds and you and the family fully depend on him. He controls how you spent the basic household money, he knows that if you left you’d have no way of supporting yourself or the kids! That’s how he wants you, completely helpless.
- If He Did It Once He’s Bound To Repeat It
If he hits you once and you stay, he’ll do it again. It’s a proven fact. They always make its seem like every mistake is the victim’s fault, so the victim blames themselves and even ask for forgiveness.
- He changes his mood every so often.
One minute he’s fine the next minute he’s angry, making threats and acting insane with your or the kids.
Better safe than sorry. When your gut tells you something ain’t right, always remember that you have the power to make a difference in your life.