When life turned upside down Nora just wanted to run and hide. She was battling with medication for a mental illness. She was Bipolar. At one time she was doing great on Ritalin. It replaced her coffee. She got work done and had a rewarding job with children who had special needs.
Ritalin was no longer allowed for her mental illness.
She had to quit her job before she got into a major mess. She did not want to lose any one of her precious angels. She really believed in there was an act to leave no child behind. There were many side effects to her new medicine. She was tired and lazy. Her doctor always told her she needed her rest. So she just believed her.
A small voice inside of her told her to do something. It was an inner voice she had not a name for. She was bored and could not live that way anymore. The onset of her Bipolar Disorder was in her early twenties. At least that is when she had people in her life to care enough to help. She may have been in denial at first. How does she think now? She thinks she always had it. As she aged into her late thirties her delusions got worse.
She finally reported it to her doctor that her delusions and fear were keeping her from living her life. She wanted to focus on reading and writing. Nora thought it would make her feel important. She was fearful of people and did not know how to turn them into loving fans. The real problem was she attracted all the wrong people.
One day Nora read a saying from Napolean Hill. Whatever a mind can conceive and believe it can achieve. That was her favorite line written by Napolean Hill. Nora conceived and believed herself to be an astronaut. She flew in a spaceship many galaxies away. Billions of stars led her path The odd thing was Nora did not even know how to keep track of the date. She did not even know miles or distance when driving.
Nora had a problem with directions.
One thing was clear. She could really focus on a star. She needed direction. She use to be able to find the big and little dipper but she was losing her mind. She could think of galaxies and things in the billions. On billion specks of sand were at the beach. There were billions of cells that made up all the cells of the crowds of bodies she imagined herself in.
Millions of atoms were in all the objects she stared at. Finally a million specs of dust no longer filled her head. She got rid of her old thoughts. She soon started reading her books from her bookshelf. The bible was read with a cup of coffee in the morning when Nora realized she was not going to be an astronaut.
She was reading the bible from beginning to end.
It mesmerized her that the Old Testament had a lot of talk of aliens that she did not understand. Nora still conceived and believed of herself as a writer. She dreamed of herself as a person that took her fans to heart. She knew she could not rewrite the bible. It was a blasphemy.
It was fun to dream though.
Nora had no idea what she wanted to write. She just wanted to be a writer. She wanted to feel important. It was a good feeling to conceive and believe. She soon realized that her thoughts of the stars were a representation of the many stars she admired.
Jim Carey had the talent of being funny and playing practical jokes. In the movie she did not want to even say the words of she saw Jim Carey really do a lot of humor in court nobody could get away with. Joan Crawford loved and adored her fans in the movie “Mother Dearest”. In the movie her daughter did not love her as much as her fans. It was really disturbing to Nora how she treated her daughter for it. It also mesmerized her how nicely she dressed and handled her fans.
Nora got a very surprising letter in the mail.
She was asked to visit a physics laboratory that needed some aid. They needed some maintenance. Nora gladly accepted the offer. It would add to her disability check she was getting. She thought she could at least try. It was the stars on the poster on the wall that kept her conceiving, believing, and dreaming.
There was nothing better than her new dream to fully understand the missions of Neil Armstrong. Nora was given some books on him from the lab instructor. They were really old. The titles were kept in her heart. They did not read such things as “The First Man That Landed on the Moon”. They were top secret books. Her dreams of Neil Armstrong’s missions were a real fascination that inspired her. Nora still had a hard time distinguishing dream from reality.
Her mind was always on outer space or out there.
She told her new friends at the lab that maybe some discovery of stardust as medicine could help her be more logical. Maybe some astronaut could bring it down. Nora was told just to be herself. Nora knew something would happen in time.
She had faith.
Nora certainly was a dreamer. But she could not achieve them. She did not mean to have a negative attitude. It was just the only reality she had to face. She was real happy in the lab. She got to be around real logical people.
Nora really struggled with reality.
She dreamed of missions to the pink planet Mars. She really believed there would be inhabitants on there one day. Maybe people would start taking vacations there. One member of the physics lab named Jesse came up to Nora and told her it was not star dust or medicine that would help her become more logical.
They accepted here in the lab because of her courage to dream.
The inhabitants of the lab would continue to give them their time as well as literature to read. Nora thought it was the best medicine there was. She loved her new job! They did not drive her insane. Maybe one day she would find a reality with her friends that came in and out of the lab. Her dreams did not fail her.
They brought her love. They brought her fascination and inspiration. Nora ate a Milky Ways and opened top secret books to read in her free time. Nora’s mind felt so much better. The next thing she was promised was some old top secret documentaries. This was all she needed to be a writer of Science Fiction. She did not know if it would be her venue. She definitely would give it a try.
