I have been a bridesmaid in four different weddings and now I am going to be the bride. I have witnessed the good side and the bad side of being a bridesmaid and now I have the opportunity to witness if from the bride’s perspective.
When you are asked to be a bridesmaid, it means that you are important enough to the bride that she wants to share her big day with you. However, that doesn’t mean it’s going to be an easy task! These are the do’s and don’ts to follow when you are asked to be a bridesmaid:
Do: Play nice with the other bridesmaids.
Don’t: Nit pick, make fun of, or otherwise create drama with the other bridesmaids. It’s the bride’s day, she doesn’t have the time, energy, or desire to be a peace keeper. If there is some hard feelings with the other bridesmaids, either try to deal with it or remind the other bridesmaids that you all want the same thing: for the bride to be happy and have a flawless wedding.
Do: Organize a bridal shower. It’s an excuse to have a fun, classy party that the bride likely will appreciate.
Don’t: Throw a bridal shower or bachelorette party if the bride directly tells you that she doesn’t want one. A surprise bridal shower is one thing, but if the bride has made a pact with her husband-to-be not to have any bachelorette/bachelor parties, then it’s important to respect her wishes and not start any unnecessary drama between her and her betrothed.
Do: Go dress shopping with her.
Don’t: Point out her flaws. If the bride is choosing dresses that are not flattering for her figure, try to pull a few dress selections of your own and see if she will humor your choices. Tell her that there is no pressure but you think she would look stunning in your picks.
Do: Help her plan her wedding when she asks for your help.
Don’t: Constantly compare her wedding style choices to your own wedding if you are already married or make bad suggestions just so your wedding can be better than hers when you do get married. It’s okay to not go out your way to explain to her how awesome cupcake wedding cakes are if that’s what you are planning to do, but don’t tell her it’s a horrid idea if she comes up with the idea on her own just because you want to do it first.
Do: Whatever the bride needs you to on her wedding day.
Don’t: Let her panic. Getting married is a big step. She will likely be emotional.