As we slide into a miserable existence of the loss of a loved one, we noticed that no one mourns the same. There are so many questions that race through a cloudy mind. We seek to understand all that we see, but is what we see the true reality of what has happened? As we look into some troubling questions that I am sure many ask of themselves when facing such terrible losses within such a short period of time. Take a moment or two and ask yourself what would you do!
Age of Loss- Is there a difference if you face a loss so great in your childhood years vs late teens and young adult years? I would like to believe that a profound loss at a young age would be easier on the heart and soul. Children are resilient and bounce back with a much stronger spring than teens and young adults. If the loss is in either of the remaining categories, you have spent the better part of your youth loving, bonding and experiencing an understood life with them. Your memories are greater and have more detail than those of a child. A child may remember some things, some places but will not always piece it all together. In my opinion, it is best to allow the child to know of a death but not to continually bring it up to them. Let the child go on with their life, they will be okay. Teenagers and young adults require much more attention and time to adjust with the sudden changes. They need support, guidance and most of all trust from their inner circle of friends and family alike.
Cause of Death- There is some truth in knowing that a loved one is dying than person who suddenly dies. While we have no control over the actual date, the idea is planted that you will see them tomorrow. If the death was known, would it have made a difference in the end? Instead, you will have racked your mind to find a hidden answer. Have you ever stopped to think what would so and so have done in this situation. I personally would prefer a quick death, there is no second guessing, nobody grieving and praying for a change. I don’t think I would be able to handle watching people come and go, I would know in my heart why they were there and it would bother me too much. If one lives each day to the fullest, there is never a question of saying goodbye, you will know in your heart that you have always loved and always will.
In facing death, we all naturally look for answers which remain unknown. It is only within our hearts that an answer can be found. It is within our minds where we will learn to let them go on, we will always have the impact of their memory. All is never lost.
To all those who have lost a love so great, understand they will always be with you but for you to hold them back from a peaceful journey becomes a regret within your soul. They gave their everything during what seems like such a short stay. Allow them to carry that to the great beyond and experience peace.