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Yak Max

Dear Spree Killers: An Open Letter

by yak max

Dear Potential Spree Killer,

I’m going to say what you’re not ever supposed to say to a potential spree killer: I understand. You’re thinking, No, you don’t understand! You can’t possibly know what I’m gong through. Are you plotting to go on a spree killing? Do you even want to go on a spree killing? Besides, you’re a woman!

This is all very true. I’m not interested in going on a spree killing. I’m also a woman and spree killers are traditionally angry young men. However, I am not so different from your typical spree killer. I too am a loner, and I can’t get laid to save my life. I freaking hated school with a fiery, fiery passion. I have taken enough psychiatric medications to kill a baby whale, and I’ve had more diagnoses of “crazy people” illnesses than I care to report.

So, I’ll go back to my original point. I understand!

  1. You’re a loner, and so am I.
  2. No one will have sex with you, and I’m a 27 years old virgin. Ouch!
  3. Your school systems failed you. Believe me, if I were to dream one night of shooting up my former high school that would not be a nightmare for me. In my case, college wasn’t as bad.
  4. The mental health care system in this country has failed you. You have NO IDEA the havoc psychiatrists and psychotherapists have reeked on my life.

The only thing (profile-wise) that separates me from the angry young men dreaming of becoming spree killers is gender. I would probably fit the profile for a spree killer perfectly (angry loner who isn’t getting laid and has a laundry list of psychiatric diagnoses) if it weren’t for that fact that I’m female.

Don’t worry readers. I’m not going to go Carrie on you and kill everyone at your local high school’s prom. Speaking of which, have we had a real-life, female spree killer in this country yet? If not, I would like to say congratulations to the ladies. In the area of spree killers, we are greatly superior to men in not becoming one.

But this letter isn’t for the ladies. This is for the angry young men. This is for my male counterparts who are at risk of becoming spree shooters. Take my advice and skip the spree shooting. You’re angry at the people who don’t care about you; the society that doesn’t care about you; or the people who wronged you in some way because they don’t want to care about you either. But the best way to work around that deep hatred inside of you is to stop caring about people who don’t matter. You’re gasping now. I said something that contradicts everything the media has been telling you. They keep hammering it home that you are supposed to care about other people, and if you just care a little more then you won’t be a spree killer. I’m telling you that’s not true. Your future victims don’t matter (at least not to you). You shouldn’t even care enough about them to take the time to murder them. After all, they didn’t care enough about you to try to kill you either. If you really hate them enough to kill them or their children then please do not do it! Weirdly, you’re actually letting them win by doing that. You’re making them important. You’re getting their names splashed across television sets when you wished it would be yours. You’re not important when you kill people. However, the victims become important to everyone when they die. They become so important that laws are enacted in their honor to put restrictions on anyone who even remotely fits your shooter profile (including people with mental illnesses unrelated to whatever you have).

The best vengeance you can have on other people, or even the whole world, is to be important. That is the one thing a potential spree shooter wants more than anything. Make your life important to you, and it will become important to others. Shooting people obviously won’t do that, because you don’t really want to shoot them anyway. In fact, many of your victims would probably just be random people, so incredibly unimportant to you would they be. Shooting them would be a reaction to something that had absolutely nothing to do with making your life better or more substantial. Don’t let that something be important. Don’t let those victims be important. And don’t let the media brainwash you into thinking they are important. They can broadcast the names and faces of victims all day long, but that’s not stopping angry men from choosing to become spree killers. The only way to circumvent that fate is to make your own life more important than the lives of your potential victims.

Sincerely,
Leilani Allmon

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