Men are not little boys in grown up bodies.
I really love my job, because in that job I am treated to a variety of different people, and, as well, exposure, not only to other cultural traditions, but more, the rawness of human nature. The one thing that I notice the most is that most of the brides I have encountered, with exception of the LGBT brides and “BrideMen” (another Roxie-ism), is that the bride, without her even knowing sometimes, begins to “mom” her man. I get it. I know what it is like to see the perfect picture of the perfect “until death will we part” in your own thoughts and I also know the damage that it does, not only to the husband in your life who is no longer the groom, but also to you.
Women have an inborn mothering nature. We cannot help ourselves. We want to believe that the men in our lives need us to hold their hands and wipe their noses and tell them that they have done a great job at a thing or two, but the truth is that no, they do not need us for that (okay…so the “great job” thing of course they need us for that). A man, most of the time, marries for the same reason that a woman will – actually one of two reasons, really. They either marry the person they love for all the right reasons, or, they marry for things that are tangible and can be seen with the naked eye. The other side of this is when women marry for money and security, or they marry for all the right reasons. At first a man might think it is cute that his bride-turned-wife would dote on him like this, but really, as time goes by, he will resent the idea that you want to mother him instead of just be who he married – his wife.
As much as we do not like being told what to do, men do not like it when we mom them, at all, and if they do, it means that they always have, and no man who is a real man wants someone who he married and who is his wife to mother him. This is how hen-pecked husbands are created – by wives who have not yet keyed into the idea that she is not her own mother or a modern version of her. He is not her dad. SHE is not playing house anymore. The person she is married to never was playing house. He just wants to love her and be with her. It is not the duty of a wife to fix what she assumes needs to be fixed in him. It is her duty to be the feminine opposite of him, to be the representation of the Divine Feminine – NOT HIS MAMA!
Let the men you marry remain as men. You will be glad you did. You did not marry him to pick up where his mother left off. You married him because you love him.
I mean, really…where is the DUH in that?
