Ladies…brides…women… please think before you nag that guy you are about to marry. While it is true that mine was not the greatest marital union, let alone likely not the most balanced, spiritually, I sit here knowing well that I did everything that I could to NOT nag this person who helped me bring the three greatest kids in the Universe into Being. Men do not marry women because of only one thing, but I know that men cannot stand one thing in particular that women are remarkably skilled at doing: mothering men who are adults and quite capable of breathing and burping all on their own.
We get caught up in all the lovey-dovey stuff, and then one day we find ourselves saying and doing things JUST like our mothers did. While it might have been fine for your father (maybe), it will not be fine for your future husband. ALL of us spend our lives, up until the day that we leave the safety of the parental nest, trying to leave the safety of the parental nest. This would include that beautiful Soul you are readying to walk down the aisle to, to your own “happily ever after,” we hope, to a life of bliss, but there will be a lot less bliss if you should choose to mother any adult, but namely a male adult.
Just as much as you do not want to be told what to do, who you are, how to do things, etc., etc., neither does your beloved. When a woman starts telling her man what to do, that is when things become ugly. When a man starts ordering his woman around, it gets even uglier because of the idea that we have been taught, for generations, that a man is not allowed to order us around. What is really strange to me is that while we wanted that much from them, we did not want the same in reverse – we wanted to have our proverbial man cake and eat it, too. It does not work that way, and will, inevitably, wind up either with the two of you constantly at each others’ throats and thinking that the madness of trying to be the one who controls EVERYTHING in your marriage, or, divorce court.
Not only that, but that is exactly how a myriad of abuses are allowed within the confines of what is supposed to be a Divinely timed and planned Sacred Union between two souls and not a contracted agreement where one of you holds less sway than the other. This is not how marriage works – it is how it fails.
So, folks, remember how much you like being told what to do before you start throwing your weight, and that marriage certificate, around as though it somehow meant for that. It isn’t.
Neither is anyone meant to control anyone else, at all, but mainly where there is a marriage involved.
I speak from experience. I hated being told what to do, how to be, who I was. And when I decided that I wanted to think on my own is when the real ugly stuff started. No one needs to be in charge, but we all need to share, and once we all learn this much, the term “bliss” will apply.