Dear Husbands-to-Be, please listen to that beautiful young woman who you are about to take as your wife. She really needs you to understand her…a LOT !
Men. We love them, and if we are lucky, at some point in our lifetimes we each will meet one with whom we will be markedly intrigued, and perhaps he might be as intrigued with us. With all of this intrigue happening and all of this lovey-dovey cutesy stuff that happens while we are young and dating, we women tend to look past his warts, and for the most part, they are clueless about the fact that the reason we do this is because we do not want to see what is not okay about this person. We want him to be the model of the perfect man, even as we know the perfect man does not now and neither will he ever exist. The same is the truth for us women, too. Some men like believing that they are smarter than we are, but I have been told many times that their logic cannot compete with our emotions and neither our ability to intuit our information at all times.
That they do not understand us is one thing, but that we expect and even believe that they do (and also that we have not bothered to ask if they do…assumptions…they are like opinions, and we all know what opinions have been likened to, right?). How can this be, when, for many generations,the very epitome of every male-female argument has been about (ready?) a lack of both communication and understanding which is born into this consciousness by both men and women. We do not tell them what we need, and they cannot truly hear what is the message in our veiled delivery of same said message.
So…guys…men? Yeah…you guys….the only way that you will EVER know what is in her head is not only to ask, but also to take her for her word. Just because what she is saying to you might sound a little strange, it is only because you are a man, and she is a woman, and you understand what is everything “man” to this point in your life, and her, “woman,” also to this point. You need to ask her to clarify, to help you to make sense of what it is that she is taking away from the conversation that has become an argument and eventually will become a fight. All because neither of you understands each other. You, guys, need to do your best at trying hard to not be a bonehead about it all, not failing to understand her out of spite. And FOR SURE do NOT do like your dad did, namely if Dad was a name caller and the type to belittle his own wife. You are not your dad. You are you.
Gentlemen, please talk to your Bride-to-Be, and get into her head, but only for the purpose of knowing her, and NOT so that you can gain an edge for the next battle of wits.
On more levels than only one, you are outmatched where wits are concerned, but it doesn’t mean that you are not intelligent, but that we are permanently female and even maternal….remember, we have the babies. You guys fight for show, but us?
It is a blood-sport, and because we have the babies, we do not fight for show – we fight to kill (in the wild, mother lionesses fight prey, kill it and feeds her cubs with it)…never forget this, because it is really the one thing that will save you in an argument with someone who far outwits you in ways you cannot understand, and could end up being the thing that lands you in a divorce drama rather than where you would rather be.
By her side.