I’ve been a bridesmaid at over 15 weddings and each one pretty much boils down to the same thing; drama, stress, and a lot of work. There are some do’s and do not’s you should follow when your a bridesmaid.
Control yourself and stick to this list of ‘do not’s’ unless you want to lose a good friend.
1. Do not under any circumstance look better than the bride on the big day! Maybe you’re prettier than your friend, maybe you have great style, or maybe you just want to look great. Whatever the reason is; don’t even think about it!
2. Do not volunteer to plan more than one ‘pre-wedding’ activity; bridal shower, bachelorette party, announcement dinner etc… unless you want to have your schedule booked up for the next 6 months. I’ve tried to be the “super” friend before and it just ends up making you feel resentful.
3. Do not get pulled into the drama that will most likely occur; not with other brides maids, not with the couples family, and especially not with the bride and groom. If they argue before the big day; don’t take anyone’s side. If you start telling her that you never really liked him anyway… you’ll be choking on your own foot when they make up (and they usually make up).
4. Do not wait until the last minute to do anything! Trying on your dress, getting your hair and nails done, or last minute decorating. Do everything with plenty of time to spare because something usually goes wrong and you need time to fix it/figure out a solution.
5. Do not forget to bring comfortable shoes to wear before and after the guests have gone; unless you want to spend 16-24 hours in 6 inch heels. One wedding I forgot to take flats and after 15 hours in serious heels, my feet cramped so bad that I started crying.
6. Do not get so intoxicated that you embarrass yourself or the bride. This isn’t about you getting tipsy. It’s the day she’s dreamed of since she was a little girl. Let her have it. No drunken confessions, tributes, or “back in the day” stories.
The best thing you can do for the bride is be a good friend and an active supporter of her wedding. Every girl needs help to pull off a gorgeous wedding.
1. Do volunteer to plan one of the pre-wedding activities but make sure everyone understands what the cost is and who is paying for it. I offered to plan a bachelorette party once and ending up spending over $500 dollars.
2. Do act excited over every detail. The bride is your friend and you should be excited for her. Make it all about her and what she wants (Unless she’s a BrideZilla). Play games like, “How Well Do You Know the Bride,” and make her feel special every chance you get.
3. Do help her with errands if she’s looking frazzled. Offer to do little things for her like grocery shop or laundry so that she can focus on the wedding. You may need to help her in the months leading up to the wedding as well. Weddings take a lot of time and preparation.
4. Do be 15 minutes early to everything so that she isn’t waiting on you. There’s nothing like watching a bride burst into tears because a bridesmaid decides to be late for every single activity.
5. Do expect her to be a little snippy, fretful, or overly stressed for a while. It’s okay as long as she doesn’t take it out on you. Do your best to be a good friend.
6. Do write a short, sweet, and sentimental speech in case you’re expected to make a toast. Keep it 60 seconds or less.
These tips will get you through most any bridesmaid challenge. The most important thing to remember is that it’s all about the bride. Do everything you can to make her feel special. It will be your turn before you know it.