Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I have to say that I had enough of this military life. I do not know what is going on, but my husband, who is an Army Sergeant in the Army, continues to go away on business trips. He hates these trips but unfortunately, there is nothing he can do to prevent them. I do not mind when he goes away for couple of days. My issue I have with this is when he goes away for months at a time, because that is when things get bad for me. We have three children and when he goes away, I become a single mom and honestly; I cannot deal with everything by myself and hold a full-time job at the same time. I am most of the time exhausted and cranky, and I do not think that is fair for me to have to deal with the kids by myself when my husband could be here helping me out. Why is the Army like this?
The Exhausted Military Wife
Dear Exhausted Military Wife,
I honestly see where is that you are coming from, but I do not think there is anything you can do to make the Army not to send your husband on this business trips. As much as I would like to tell you that he has the choice to say no, I would not do it because I would be lying to you. Military life is not easy; especially for the dependants who are the ones who have to stay behind dealing with all the household issues when the service member goes away. Believe when I say that I know how difficult it is because I have been a military wife myself for the past 17 years. The only suggestion that I can give you is to take things easy and not to overstress with the things that you cannot control. The truth is that as long as your husband is in the military, there will be times when you will have to act as the mother and the father so try to get used to it because unfortunately, there is not much you can do to change things around or for your husband to avoid going to these travels. One thing that I want you to know is that military bases offer services to family members who are struggling with life situations. Go and talk to them to see in which ways they can help you deal with the family issues that you have right now. The thing here is for you not to stay home feeling sorry for yourself because that will not help you nor will help your husband in any way.
Would you like to contact “The Coach” for a quick advice? Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org