Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
This is Alice. I would like to start this post by thanking you for your time and for always been there when I needed guidance and advice. Your unconditional support throughout these past months has helped me reinvent myself and at the same time to understand that no problem is big enough if we seek help or guidance from an expert to be able to “attack” that problem and move on with our lives. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This time, I am contacting you because my husband and I just received military orders to move to a foreign country for three years. As you may know, I am very concerned with this move because I have never lived outside of the United States before. I don’t know what to expect or if I will be able to function in this new country. I will have to leave my current job and my friends behind and my children will have to leave their school and their friends behind as well. I am a nerve wreck and can’t seem to find a way to digest all this. What do you think I should do? Should I go with him, or should I stay back home? I want to support my husband, but I want to make sure I am making the right decision.
Moving to a foreign country can be one of the most intimidating experiences a person could face. The fact that you have never lived outside the United States makes things a little bit more difficult for you. I do want to add that even when you don’t see it now, you are facing one of the most amazing opportunities a person could have in life. By reading your post, I noticed that your main concern is leaving your job and friends behind and starting a new life in a different place. This is not as bad as it sounds Alice. Moving to a new place can bring you many new experiences that in one way or another will help you to grow not only in your personal life but also in your career life. The same thing applies to your children. It is commonly known that children adapt to new experiences faster than adults and even when at first they will miss their school and friends, when they start making friends in the new country and new school, they will become happy again. At the same time, the opportunity of learning a new culture and a new language and socializing with children from a different country will bring them a new perspective of life. I can ensure you this because I have experienced this with my own children. Since your concern is making sure you are making the right decision, I would suggest that you sit down with your husband and together, write down the pros and cons of moving to this new country. Try to find for yourself the reasons you are afraid of moving. Once you have a better picture of what your concerns are, then you can “attack” them one by one. For example; if you are afraid of not finding the right school for your children, I will suggest you talk to your sponsor about this; he/she can help you in finding the best school that fits your children’s need before you even get there. Another example is; if you want to find a job in the new country. I will suggest you to contact the human resources office at the nearest military post where you will be living and ask them about a list of vacant positions within the area. This will help you to know which positions are open and start the application process way before you get there. But the most important advice I can give you is to relax. The opportunity you have in front of you doesn’t happen too often so again, sit down and identify what your real concerns are and deal with them one by one. Once you see the big picture, you will feel more than ready to make the right decision. Good Luck Alice!
Sincerely, The Coach
Would you like to contact “The Coach”? Send her an email at firstname.lastname@example.org