Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her column “Ask the Coach.”
I want to ask for advice on how to help my son’s girlfriend. She is having a lot of issues at home and has expressed a desire to run away from home. She is a good kid and I really love her dearly, but the problem is that she has no other place to go and I am afraid that if/when she runs away from home, that she may end up here in my house with my son. Unfortunately, as much as I would like to help her out, I do not think we should be the ones dealing with it. The problem I see with this is that, if I open my house to this girl, I will be taking the risk of my son getting her pregnant and that is something that I need to prevent because they are only 16 years old. I would like to talk to her parents and express my concerns to them, but I do know not if I should get involved. Do you have any suggestions for me?
The Concerned Mother in Law
Dear Concerned Mother in Law,
I have to say that I completely understand your concerns and I commend you because you are acting like a responsible adult for wanting to talk to this girl’s parents before the situation gets out of hand. One thing you did not mention in your message is the reasons for this girl wanting to run away from home. Maybe, before you go and talk to her parents, it will be a good idea for you to talk to the girl first and see if she can tell you exactly what is that is going on in her house. By identifying the issues that she is facing at home, you will be in a better position to try to guide her in the right direction. The truth is that you bringing the girl to live in your house under the same roof at her boyfriend (your son) will not solve the issue; it would only create a new one and you need to make sure that you protect your son from any unnecessary temptations before it is too late. The last thing this girl and your son need right now, if for him to get her pregnant and her parents to come and accuse you of child neglect. So, go ahead and talk to the girls and then to her parents and see how things go from there. If after talking to them, the issue continues, then I guess it will be time for you to have a serious chat with your son and make sure that he understand that if the girl end up running away from home, she cannot come to live in your house, and that she will have to find a solution for her problem without involving you or your son in the situation. I am pretty sure than when she sees that you will not open your house to her, she will desist of the idea of running away.
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