Need a quick answer to a career or personal dilemma? Career and life coach Marielys Camacho-Reyes will answer your concerns in her new column “Ask the Coach.”
I wanted to write to you to see if you could tell me what is wrong with my sister. She is a 27 year old woman who, to be honest with you, has everything she needs in life to be happy. She is married to a great man, has two amazing children, and a great job. She is living the life. The problem is that even when she has all those things in her life, she looks very sad all the time. I have tried to talk to her to see if something is wrong but every time I do, she assures me that everything is okay. I don’t think I believe her. She seems very sad to me and I would like to help her to be her happy self again. The thing is that she would not tell me if something is wrong. What can I do? Should I talk to her husband about this to see if he knows the reasons for this sadness?
The Concerned Sister
Dear Concerned Sister,
Yes, if you cannot get your sister to tell you what is wrong, you should talk to her husband to see if he knows the reason for her sadness. You have to be careful though. There may be things going on in their marriage that she may not want you to know, and asking her husband will not make things better; maybe it will make things worse. So, be very careful what and how you ask him. On the other hand; you should try talking to your sister again and see if she opens up to you this time. Her sadness could be symptoms of depression or other mental and/or emotional issues, and unless she seeks the help she needs, things will never get better for her. When you talk to her, explain her how concern you are and reaffirm her your willingness to help her to get better. Once she sees that you are there for her, she may tell you what is that is causing her to be sad. If she does tells you what is wrong with her, listen to her without judging or giving unsolicited advice. Right now, it seems like all she needs is a shoulder to cry. Give that to her and let the situation take its course. The one thing I would not suggest you to do is to pressure her to tell you what is wrong, because the more you pressure her, the more she may move away from you.
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